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I AM JOHN GALT.
Right Thoughts...not right wing, just right.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Teh awesomez - A song made with nothing but Win98 and XP default sounds

So much win.  This is better than the new NIN record.  ;)

Posted by JimK at 09:31 PM on March 06, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentMusicTechnobabble (Technology)

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Patrick Swayze actually suffering from pancreatic cancer

Note: this post was written Wednesday morning but I forgot to set it to ‘open,’ sorry!

This was a rumor earlier today, but now it’s confirmed.

Twinkle-toed tough guy Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with cancer and might only have weeks to live, a rep for the dirty dancer said today.

Swayze’s publicist confirmed to Page Six that he’s suffering from pancreatic cancer, which could tragically bring down the curtain on his remarkably diverse career.

MORE: Patrick Swayze Photo Gallery

Swayze was diagnosed with the cancer more than a month ago.

The average life expectancy is six to nine months, with only 4 percent of patients living more than five years.

In a widely circulated statement, Swayze’s doctor, George Fisher, said, “Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the time frame of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.”

I don’t care what anyone says.  This is not a joke, either.  If you want to learn how to be a man, how to treat women, how to live life successfully, you watch Swayze movies.  Everything you will ever need to know can be found in them.  Let’s just recap this man’s career to date:

The Outsiders (Thug life is no life)
Red Dawn (Defend against all enemies!)
Youngblood (You’re the best if you wanna be!)
Dirty Dancing (Eff the man, never let the man keep you down)
Road House (No fighting until you have no other choice, then beat the shit out of every last one of them sonsabitches)
Ghost (Treat her right, always love her, and when you can’t protect her anymore, find a way to keep doing it anyway)
Point Break (A little adventure never killed anyone.  Sort of.)
Too Wong Foo (Never be so insecure in your sexuality that you can’t slap on a dress and heels).

If that was the only thing he ever did, that would be enough.  But, on top of that, he was in one of the funniest sketches to come out of the post-Belushi SNL, the Chippendales tryouts sketch.

Personally, I think Swayze will punch cancer in the face with a backfist, then grande jete it right in the nuts and finish with jazz hands.  That’s right, jazz hands.  Because he’s more of a man than Chuck Norris will ever be.  Norris went and got sixty-seven horrible facelifts.  Swayze just intimidated his face into staying where it is, just like he intimidated his glorious mane of hair to not fall out.

Patrick Swayze gives cancer cancer with nothing but a sleeveless tee and the power of his mind.  That’s how tough he is.  Get well, Patrick.

Posted by JimK at 09:37 PM on March 05, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment
Tags: Patrick Swayze

Monday, March 03, 2008

Nine Inch Nails sort-of gives away new album *UPDATED*

Another move toward the inevitable…

The 36-track instrumental record, recorded in a ten-week period last year, is available in a variety of download options and as a physical copy.

The options are a free download featuring the collection’s first nine tracks, a $5 download featuring the whole album, a $10 two-CD set (either via the website or in shops from April 5) and a $75 deluxe edition, including a hardcover book and a data DVD and a Blu-ray disc featuring high definition recordings and a slide show.

1. I know only big bands can do this right now.  Most especially bands that own studios and can do their own production, plus afford the bandwidth something like this takes.  BUT...it has to start somewhere and I applaud Trent for deciding to walk the walk and bond more with his fans and customers and not with the RIAA or the record companies.

2. This is the right way to do it now.  He’s offering a sampler for free, the entire thing in high-quality MP3, Apple Lossless or FLAC for five bucks, and various other versions for up to $300 (collector’s edition with DVDs and vinyl and all sorts of extras).

3. I am really glad it’s instrumental.  I’m sick of political preaching in Trent’s music.  Actually I’m sick of it from everyone’s music, but that’s neither here nor there.

4. Don’t bother trying to buy it today.  The servers are absolutely toasted.  I was able to place an order and get a download link, but the downloads themselves never finish, and now I am locked out until I get help from their tech support.

*UPDATE*

24 hours later and the nin.com people still haven’t bothered to contact me to tell me how I can download what i paid for.  Disappointing.  BUT...I want to reward this business model, so I went to Amazon and bought the entire 36 track thing there.  Amazon is NOT giving you 320K MP3s.  They look to be VBR between 192 and 256.  Good quality though, and fully tagged and everything.  Regular old MP3s.  No DRM.

Oh, the album?  IT’S FUCKING AWFUL.  It’s 36 tracks of partial song ideas and unfinished elements.  It should be called “Garage Sale of Reznor’s ‘Ideas’ Hard Drive.” There are maybe three decent “songs” in the whole mess, and only two of those could even make you think Nine Inch Nails.  The rest are unfinished atmospherics, diddling on the piano (obvious leftovers from the ‘La Mer/Big Sur’ sessions) and Garage Band-style beats and loops.  As a way to shift the industry, I applaud it.  As an album (or albums) full of music, I want to punch Trent’s fucking face in for daring to take people’s money for this unfinished shit.

I kept thinking “Well there are 36 tracks, surely ten or fifteen of them will be some kind of level of listenable” but no...nothing ever came of it.  It just drones on and diddles on for 36 god-damned tracks.  It’s a video game soundtrack is what it is.  Only his work on the Quake 1 soundtrack was like, seven hundred times better.

I still think people should buy the $5 version, but feel free to send the files directly to the trash bin.  It’ll save you some time and hard drive space.

Posted by JimK at 03:35 PM on March 03, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentMusic
Tags: music mp3 downloading NIN Nine Inch Nails

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Marilyn Manson releases “Mansinthe.” I’m not making this up.

He just gets sillier and more out of touch with every passing day.  So Manson has release a vanity absinthe, and Epicurious reviewed it.  Unfavorably, I might add.


So did Mansinthe have what it takes to be a premium absinthe? According to the tasters, the answer is, sadly, no. The No. 1 problem was the aroma, which some verbally compared to sewage water or swamp mud, but with the exception of a lone taster, the panel felt it wasn’t really worth wading through the odor to get to mediocre flavor anyway.

They rated each aspect of it in detail.  None of it is really good.  Kind of to be expected at this point.  And oh my ever-loving Jesus, that name is horrid.

Nice label, though.

Posted by JimK at 03:17 PM on February 16, 2008
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Tags: Marilyn Manson mansinthe absinthe

Friday, February 01, 2008

That’s funny, because I’m also fucking Matt Damon

This is pretty good.  The setup is, in case you don’t know, that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have been a couple for a long time.  Also, virtually every time Matt Damon comes on Kimmel’s show, he cuts him off and says they’re out of time, or they had to bump Matt Damon, etc.  That gag has been running forever.  Sarah just upped the ante.

My favorite part is the end.  “Let’s put that guitar down and go fuck Matt Damon.” And the apples line.  Normally late night talk show stuff never gets me (aside from laughing with/at Colbert), but they committed so hard to this joke that it made me laugh my ass off.

Posted by JimK at 02:08 PM on February 01, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentHumor
Tags: Matt Damon Sarah Silverman Jimmy Kimmel

Thursday, January 31, 2008

My Name is Scientology Simpson.  Who the hell are you?

Wow.  Rann dropped this one in the comments.

THE voice of Bart Simpson last year handed a stunning $11.2 million over to her beloved Church of Scientology - twice as much as Tom Cruise.

Nancy Cartwright, 50, made the donation as part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth - meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.

That Scientology sure is powerful shit.  That is a veritable fuck-ton of cash.  OK, not a fuck-ton literally.  More like 246.6912 pounds if it were in hundreds.  It could be a couple of fuck-tons if she delivered it in new twenties.  Wait how did I get bogged down in how much it weighs?  The important bit here is not the weight of the money if it were all in cash.  The important thing here is that nancy Cartwright is as crazy as a shithouse rat.

Rann mentioned on his LJ...

To all those who don’t go to Tom Cruise movies because you don’t want to support the destructive business empire that is Scientology, you might want to stop watching the Simpsons, too.

Truth be told, I still steal Tom Cruise movies off BitTorrent watch Tom Cruise movies.  I don’t really notice the batshit Scientology crap.  At least not so far.  The guy was, and still can be, a fine, fine cinematic performer.  Odds are I won’t bother avoiding the Simpsons either.

That is, any more than I already do.  I see new episodes of the Simpsons when I remember that it’s still on the air, and I remember to steal them off BitTorrent “legally acquire” them.  Over the last three seasons, I think I’ve seen maybe half of them.  I might have laughed at three or four jokes.  I think the show has run its course.  At one point I would have defended it as the finest comedy on television, but like all good things, it came to an end.  Only, like...licensing, dude.  Fox still makes a bajillion point eleventy trillion million dollars every three minutes off Simpsons gear, so look for it to be on the air until well into the 2012 cataclysm or barring that, Drum’s predicted revolution, in which I shall take up arms under the flag of the United States of Jimerica.  Our Constitution will be familiar.  As will our flag.  The major difference between my country and the one called “The United States of America” is that all congresspersons are required to be smart, really hot and perform all official functions in the nude.  They will be evenly split between men and women, so everyone gets a little something to gawk at and the business of Jimerica can still get done.

Also, all television networks will be required to air a minimum of 13 episodes of any new television series.  I know, that’s a bit heavy-handed, but I have to use my power in the way I think will best benefit me my friends all of us.

Also, California is not welcome in the new country.  They are large enough to be thier own nation.  I might kick Florida out too.  Massachusetts goes for sure.  We just have to relocate the Pats.  Without the Boston fanbase.  :)

Also, there will be National Hawtness of the Week competitions on live TV.  That will be the only reality show we have.  Hot people from all over the country will compete in categories like “Best Redheaded babe” and “Manliest Lumberjack Type” and “Best PC Technical Support.” The hottest and smartest of them will be asked to run for Congress at the end of the year.  See how one program supports the other?  Effecient government.  That’s what Jimerica is all about.

That, and looking at naked people.

Posted by JimK at 02:43 PM on January 31, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentCelebridiotsHumor
Tags: Simpsons Scientology Nancy Cartwright

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A cat and a prat

First, a cat.  This cat is simply awesome.  It looks just like Jamie Hyneman.

image

And now, a prat.  Tom Cruise in a Scientology recruitment video.  This video was on Youtube until they got it shut down, but someone rescued it from their cache, and now it is being mirrored all over.  I’ll do my bit to help by hosting a copy.  Screw you, LRH. (Warning; the video goes blank for a few seconds once or twice.  That’s how it was originally on Youtube.  Dunno why)



It’s pretty easy to see why Scientology appeals to stars and junkies.  It’s a “religion” that is 100% about the individual’s ego.  It;s about how great you are, how you can be the only person capable of solving a given crisis...the very nature of the “help” they want to give is solely and completely wrapped up in how it makes them better than the rest of us.  I’m sure they lure people in with talk of how strong, competent individuals make for a stronger group, etc.  That kind of logic appeals to me, and if I was a wreck, I can see how they could get me on that road to Thetanville.  By the time I realized what was really going on, I’d probably already have done my big confessional audit, which of course is prime blackmail material.  But I digress.

While most of the world’s religions at least pay lip service to the notion of sacrifice, Scientology seems to be about nothing more than propping up one’s ego.  Not a surprise that it’s so popular in an industry that feeds ego like Cracker Barrel feeds fat people.

By the way, if you don’t know, “KSW” means “Keep Scientology Working,” which is both a motivational catchphrase and a ten-point “policy letter” written by LRH (L. Ron Hubbard) in 1965.  I will include the text of that after the jump, just in case you’re curious.  Also, most people have heard this one, but when he references “SPs” he means Suppressive Persons.  That’s anyone who doesn’t believe in this jumped-up claptrap cult nonsense.

The sad - and in some ways brilliant - part of this can be found in both the Cruise video and the KSW document; Cruise and/or LRH never actually say anything.  There’s a lot of invented language, a lot of misuse of words, re-purposing of other words...essentially LRH was creating what Star Trek fans know as ”Treknobabble." It;s high-sounding nonsense with no real meaning, and it’s one of the ways in which you con people.  You throw a lot of flash at them, and when they don’t understand it, you offer to “teach” them.  This allows you to take the role of both “mentor” and filter; they no longer use their own minds to discover and to question, they simply trust you to explain it to them.  And then you can get them to do just about anything as long as you dangle the carrot of more knowledge and a higher status in front of them.  It works for cults, sci-fi worlds and MMOs.  It’s all the same psychological trickery, and it all falls apart the minute you stop suspending disbelief.  Read the KSW document and you’ll see what I mean.  The only real information contained in all those words is that you should always promote Scientology, and anyone who tries to talk you out of it needs to be cut out of your life.  The rest of it is a lesson in how to brainwash people into not thinking about what you are saying, but rather overwhelm them with treknobabble until they stop thinking and just trust you.

There.  I just re-wrote KSW in two sentences.  WORSHIP ME AS YOUR LEADER.

Anyway, Tom Cruise is a crazy person.  I mean a bona fide, actually mentally ill, delusional person who is not in possession of all his mental faculties.

Posted by JimK at 02:05 PM on January 16, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentHumorThe Stupidity Of Man
Tags: mythbusters scientology Jamie Hyneman Tom Cruise

Monday, January 14, 2008

10 reasons why Kevin McCullough is a liar *UPDATED* (with a correction)



I don't know why Kevin McCullough felt the need to lie so much in this "article" about Mass Effect, but lie he did. Michael Moore would be ashamed of being this much of a liar. For the record, I played Mass Effect through twice and did every mission and talked to every character. I covered every square inch of that game and I played once as a male and once as a female. I know of what I speak, unlike Kevin McCullough, who clearly never played the game, and is a liar.
the new video game that one company is marketing to fifteen year old boys.

LIE NUMBER ONE. This game is rated M, 17 and older. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived.

LIES 2 AND 3. XBox 360 players are not universally male, and there is no realistic sex whatsoever. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to "engage"

LIE NUMBER 4. You can ONLY manipulate the face, hair and sex. There is NO mechanism in the game to allow for form, bodies or breast size adjustment. Your character is male or female, with skin, eyes, nose, mouth, cheek, hair and skull adjustments ONLY. Your character is also wearing either grey fatigues or a full suit of armor for almost every single moment of the game save for a two-minute barely-suggestive "sex" scene, which you can see here (requires Flash).


Kevin McCullough is a liar.
and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.

LIE NUMBER 5, and maybe the biggest one yet. This is a scene barely more suggestive that what is on daytime TV. The ONLY possible combinations are between a male character and a blue alien girl, or a female character and a blue alien girl. That's it. The rest of this crap was made up in Kevin's fertile (and apparently deviant) imagination. Oh what the hell...LIE NUMBER 6: My monitor is only 19 inches. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
Then there's the dishonesty behind the game' title. "Mass Effect" sounds like a war game with a deadly virus that is spreading unless the GI-Joes are able to defeat the evil and deadly substance and it's covert war plan.

LIE NUMBER 7: It's named for the physics, dumbass.
If a pre-teen, teen, young adult, or adult male plays such a game in which the women DO submit without choice, are made to appear as Barbie streetwalkers, and perform whatever act can be imagined,

LIE NUMBER 8. It's not a bold-faced lie, but the implication is that Mass Effect is such a game. It is not. The female characters in the game run the gamut from "companion" to ass-kicking soldier who can arm nukes to "biotic" expert who move things with thier minds to hackers. Just like the male characters. Not once does any female submit without choice, nor are any of them made to appear as "Barbie streetwalkers."

Kevin McCullough is a liar.
And because of the digital chip age in which we live - "Mass Effect" can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.

LIE NUMBER 9. There is only ONE possible sex scene*. The character you can have sex with is named Liara, and she's the ONLY ONE. There is no sodomy (apparently that word in it's many forms, is weighing heavily on Kevin McCullough's lying little mind, the big perv) in any form, and you cannot be sexual with any other character in the game at any time, ever. It happens once, for about two minutes, right before you go into the segment where you battle the big bad guy at the end.
Again, Kevin McCullough is a liar.
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.

LIE NUMBER 10. It's not even a multiplayer game. There is no online connection to other players. Kevin McCullough is a liar. Kevin McCullough also harbors rape fantasies and thinks way too much about sodomy and young children. It appears, and I'm not making any claims, just observations from his article, but it appears that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
I'm not saying Kevin McCullough actually rapes and sodomizes children online, I'm saying that his fevered descriptions (of this game that doesn't exist) demonstrate that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that?

*UPDATE* - Via Rann's comments, here's Kevin McCullough's "rebuttal" diatribe. he's proud of having lied and refuses "to move." So he's arrogant, intractable and a liar.

* Also, I need to make a correction; It turns out you can sleep with Ashley (or Kaidan if you are a woman) if you play your cards right. Both times I played I didn't get anywhere with Ash and I sacrificed Kaidan, so I assumed that the whole "flirty Ashley" thing was a red herring and you could only sleep with Liara. Turns out I'm just not smooth with the human ladies (or guys for that matter), I am more of the James T. Kirk type. I must be one of those "gamer nerds" who obsesses over alien sex so much that I subconsciously sabotaged any change of normal, hetero, human-to-human sex, which I assume Kevin McCullough would have tolerated a little more than the depraved, alien-on-woman sex he masturbated to saw in a Youtube clip.

By the way, don't you love how the sum total of his research into this game was one or two Youtube clips? Makes you really want to trust him on the matters of the world, doesn't it? Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that? I think I might have.

Posted by JimK at 02:41 PM on January 14, 2008
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Categories: EntertainmentGamingXbox 360The Fourth EstateThe Stupidity Of Man
Tags: gaming xbox 360 mass effect

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Shocking news about Kevin DuBrow

kevin dubrowShow of hands; who was surprised to learn Kevin DuBrow’s death was due to cocaine overdose?

Supplementary question; which is worse, aging rocker with a coke habit, or aging rocker wearing wigs that have more hair than his real head did when he was famous?

By the way, I love Kevin, and QR, so I’m not exactly happy he died or anything.  I’m just saying, what a surprise (he said, tinged with sarcasm) and that it’s kind of sad to maintain a coke habit long after the rock star life has left you.  And dead or alive, those wigs needed mocking.  So now that I have certified a seat on the express bus to hell....

Posted by JimK at 02:17 PM on December 11, 2007
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Categories: EntertainmentCelebridiotsMusic
Tags: quiet riot kevin dubrow

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Pub quiz!

In the style of UK pub quizzes, I made a quiz at Funtrivia.  there are like 4500 questions ranging from easy to very difficult, covering US politics, US History, TV, Music, Movies and gaming.  Free to play, and you get a different group of questions daily.

The Right Thoughts Pub Quiz can be found here.  Check it out.  Get some bragging rights up in this bitch.  :)

Posted by JimK at 07:10 PM on December 06, 2007
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