Rock Star: Supernova - Week 10 Elimination

Here we go...who’s going to get kicked off Rock Star: Supernova in week 10?  Will Dramilana be bottom two and have a right good freakout?  Will Storm rock out when she’s called to stand?  Will Magni...uhh...smile and look a lot like Ed from Live?  Will Lukas still have bang extensions?

Let the TiVoblogging commence.

(I updated this post to show off my new Livejournal icon.  I think Robin Zander would approve.)

We’ve avoided all spoilers, as hard as that is.  I love spoilers, but I hate knowing spoilers when the show is later that day.  Does that make any sense?

Predictions: I say Toby for the encore, Donna says Lukas, We both say Magni for playing with the band.  Bottom three: Dilana, Storm, Magni, I say Storm to get booted because she’s way, way too much for them and Donna says Magni because he won’t shine while playing with the band.  No way they boot the drama factory, she’s good TV.

Let’s watch!

- See Brooke?  You can hide the babybump without wearing a pirate blouse.  :)

- Jason...with the fingerless gloves already.  Do we need some kind of intervention?  Can’t we animate you and your hair with that glowy green stuff from the Re-Animator?  Do you really have to wear the homeless guy gloves?

- Hey, Dave mentioned the bun in the oven...finally.  With mom’s looks, that’s gonna be one smokin’ little girl.

- Hey, another recap.  This show does approximately 325 hours of recap each week for 2.5 hours of television.  It’s some kind of temporal displacement compression thing.  Seriously.  You have aged 5 days for every hour of Rock Star: Supernova you have watched.

Let’s chat with the Rockers.  Lukas is excited to play for actual humans instead of empty beer bottles and ashtrays.  To-oh-oh-oh-oh-by is about the EVS.  And some of the young hotties.  Now we talk to the Re-Animated...I mean Jason.

- The new Supernova song is It’s All Love and Magni is singing.  That seals it, Storm is going home.

OH THIS IS KILLING ME, I know that melody line.  It’s a total ripoff.  Oh, and yes, this song sucks the felch out of a gay gangbang porno actor’s dirty ass.

Nope.  The “rocking part” isn’t working either.  Wow.  I think the worst thing Supernova could possibly have done was to debut original music on this show.  I’m a goddamned Newsted/Lee fan, and I gave Gilby respect...I should want to see this and buy this music, but it’s just so insipid and stolen.  I can’t imagine ever paying a single red cent for anything Supernova

- Oh Jesus H. Christ, the other day I said that if they made the Rockers do a group commercial ala American Idol I was going to go apeshit.

Consider my shit only minorly aped.  At least they didn’t have to sing about the Honda Element, which by the way I think is the ugliest box since we had to see Paris Hilton’s.  See how I did that?  I called Paris’ vag ugly.  Paris Hilton jokes never get old to me.

Annnnnd...commercial.

- We’re back, and Gilbs has an announcement - The Pocket Prince of Darkness will be bringing The Panic Channel on tour.  Finally, a reason to go.

- And now, let’s give the Honda Element to the guy who will have to import it to frigging Australia if you don’t hire him for the band.  Hey, at least he earned it.  Nice shout out to Steve Erwin...crazy bastard.  :)

Oh oh oh oh oh oh.  It’s a pretty good song...much MUCH better than anything Supernova has done.  Do you think they have ears?  How can they listen to thier own shit and then hear this and think ‘Yeah, our music rocks”...I mean...seriously do they have ears?

Nicely done again.

- Moving on to the business of crushing someone’s soul...yay!  Of course all of them were bottom three at some point, there’s only frigging five left.  Commercial break, and do I love a TiVo for that.

- Welcome back to the show, I’m your host, Preggers McTitties.  Storm, get the hell over here, you know you’re getting kicked out because Tommy and Gilby and probably Jason can’t handle your big balls.

- Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here.  Please don’t kill this song Storm, I like you and I love this song.

No.  Look, I have stated a million times how much I love this chick, but for the love of Jesus’ mom, she commits murder on some of these classic rock covers.  She needs time and her band to work out how she’s going to do them...she doesn’t just *do* covers like this.

I appreciate the emotion, I feel bad for her, but no goddamned way can I honestly say I loved that performance.

- Oh look, Limpy McFakesalot is in the bottom three, and she’s gonna do...WHAT?  Cheap trick?  It better not be…

Mother fucker.  You fucking talentless little hack.  OK, lemme just lay this out.

1. Storm does an unbelievably soulful and beautiful cover of I Want You to Want Me.  Why in the name of sweet fuck would she not have demanded to do it instead of butchering Pink Floyd, I have no idea.  You simply have to hear Storm’s cover. 
Download it and listen to how that song can be changed dramatically and still retain it’s soul.
2. This hack couldn’t do justice to the Cheap Trick original much less a cover by anyone else.  She’s probably never even heard the original.  She’s doing a note for note cover of Propagandhi’s cover (which, by the way everyone thinks is NOFX).  She has no idea what the original song is.  YOU DIDN’T SING A PUNK SONG, DUMBASS, YOU COVERED A COVER.
3. Picking this song, from a lyrical standpoint, is CLASS A DESPERATION.  Fucking bloody hell, woman, do you EVER stop playing the victim?  Do you ever have a moment of clarity where you say “You know what?  I’m 34 fucking years old.  Maybe it’s high time I stopped all these games and acted my age.  If I’m not capable fo doing that, maybe I should seek professional help until I can.  Maybe then I wouldn’t act like everyone and everything is out to get me.”

Yeah...I’m not holding my breath waiting for that to happen either.

On to the actual performance.  It starts off *bad*.

What
the
FUCK
am
I
watching?

I will personally beat the ass of the first person to say this is anything less than the worst piece of shit ever performed.  I will fly to your town, track you like an escaped convict and beat your face in with a pipe

Sweet Narcissia that was fucking horrifying.  From the truly terrible opening to the ridiculous speed (I hate the cover she covered as well) to the fact that she missed, well, all the notes, was out of breath, sang faster than the ridiculously fast arrangement...about the only good thing involved there was that it ended quickly.

- The last bottom three-er is: Not Magni?????  WTF, Lukas is bottom three?  Wow, that Bon Jovi song hurt him badly.  Let’s see how he handles being bottom three.  You know, as opposed to how some others handle it.

Storm is so going home now.

Balls on that boy, jumping right back in with his original, Headspin.  I think he knew it was the Bon Jovi that hurt him and why risk it with another cover, right?  Not a lot to say that I didn’t say last night.  I love the song.  He seems a little less into it, but other than that...it’s Lukas doing Headspin.  If you like him (and have taste and ears) you like it.  ;) (I kid!  Don’t flip out!)

And the commercial break, where we can all prepare to say goodbye to Susan Storm Large, musical goddess and walking sex.

When we return, we get the couch talking garbage.  Gilby plays the numbers card on Storm.  And again with Dilana.  Listen to the crowd cheer for Lukas.  :) And he’s safe.  No way will they kick Dramilana off...let’s hear from the Tommyhawk.

Wow, he passed it off to Jason.  Apparently the gloves give him power to do difficult things as well as front a perfect hairdo.  And he sends Storm home.  No surprise. 

Rock Star StormNova!  You bet your ass it was.

I like that she went to the fans, the viewing audience and the Rockers and kind of glossed over the band.  :)

She’s FREEEEEEEEEEE!  She can get her Balls back and do what she was meant to do.

- I’m voting for Storm to come back.  And we’re out.

- Do I need to mention how sick and tired of Dilana I am?  Guess what?  We get another week with the freak.  JOY!  See you Sunday for the reality episode…

Posted by JimK at 10:26 PM on September 06, 2006
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Categories: Entertainment,  Music,  Television,  Rock_Star_Supernova
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