American Idol - The top 7 perform

Seacrest just gave a “heartfelt” shoutout to the families and victims of the Virginia Tech shooting, and after barely taking a breath, then said ”THIS...is AH-merican Idol.  Whatever.  I need that from Idol like I need a hole in the...oh wait is it too soon to make that joke?  ;)

Well, now that I’ve pissed everyone off, here’s the shit about the show.

• Martina McBride montage...again, another professional is trying to tell the contestants to just sing the songs...something everyone under the age of 30 who sings in public seems to be unable to do most of the time.  Here’s my broken record statement of the night - too many runs!  Oh, and also I won’t know a damn thing about the songs tonight
• Phil Stacey - Where The Blacktop Ends, Keith Urban.  Martina noticed that Phil can’t start a song.  Gee.  Really?

  Something about rock/soul/pop singers just suck the LIFE out of country, even new country.  Typical Phil Stacey here - boring but not bad enough to really complain about.  To bring back the old Rockstar Supernova thing - Evs, yo.  It’s unbelievably boring save for the last note.  Again.

  Randy: “You could have a career in country music - that was really good”. What the fuck?  Err...evs, I suppose.  I couldn’t have cared less about that.
  Paula: Agreed with Randy
  Simon: Also loved it. “We actually saw some personality.” Really?  Where?  Did he pay you to say that?  Are they trying to save Phil so as to make an effort to combat the Sanjaya effect?  I can’t really think of another reason to be so congratulatory about that performance.

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• Jordin Sparks is next; I have a prediction.  When Seacrest says her phone number at the end, she’ll pretend to count her fingers and be all surprised when she gets to two.  Her song is Broken Wing, Martina’s song.  Martina loved it.

  Really good and controlled at the beginning.  It’s everything you want a female country artist to be...forlorn, articulate, clean, on key...just a hint of the slightest twang.  She carries it right up into the chorus and it’s maybe her best performance yet.  Really well done.  Perfect, with a huge, long, perfect note at the end.  Crowd went nuts for it.

  Randy: “One of the most difficult songs to sing.” “Dude that was the bomb”.
  Paula: “Fantastic job”.  “You built the song and you did tell a story” True.
  Simon: “This is the first time since we have met, that I actually believe, based on that performance, that you could win American Idol”.  Shit, if she sang like that every week?  Yes, she could.

  She didn’t do the “Oh look, I have two fingers” thing.  Hopefully she’s noticed it in watching herself…

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• Sanjaya Malakar- Let’s Give ‘Em Something To Talk About.  What’s the fucking point of even typing anything about him?  So he’s here to destroy Bonnie Raitt.  Hooray. 

  Wait, here’s something to say - the moron is wearing a bandanna with half-a-fro sticking out the back.  He looks ridiculous.  Oh god, it starts out horrible.  Then he sang just a little too loud (Oh, come on that was funny!) and it almost worked...in the very next line he faded back into the background again.  here it comes!  Bad notes galore. 

  Donna: “Bonnie Raitt is somewhere trying to slit her own throat right now.” Fanjayas - he sucks as a singer and you know it.  Fuck all of you.

  Randy: “That was karaoke, vocally it wasn’t good at all”.
  Paula: “You’re a lovable guy”.
  Simon: “Utterly horrendous.” “It was as bad as anything we see at the beginning of American Idol”.  “I know it was funny for awhile, but based on the fact that we are supposed to be finding an American Idol, it was hideous.”
  Seacrest: “If Sanjaya nailed it would Simon ever say so?”
  Simon “I liked him last week big mouth.” It’s true.  God I hope that crap was enough to crush this terrible lack of talent.

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• Lakisha Jones - Jesus Take The Wheel.  Why would you sing Carrie Underwood on this show?  Donna; “You’re only inviting comparisons to, oh, I dunno, Carrie fucking Underwood on this show.” Yep.  Another shitty choice that won’t live up to the potential she showed in the prelims.  Martina loves her, but I don’t think she realizes that LaKisha in rehearsals and small rooms is not LaKisha on the big stage.  LaKisha falls apart every time she performs - it’s only her raw talent that has kept her in this far.

  The difference between LaKisha and Jordin is obvious here; they’re doing the same type of song, designed to hit the same emotional core and also designed to be sung the same way...she’s dull and boring in the verse, and then blows the notes in the chorus and goes way sharp.  I’m telling you, she’s a great church singer who can’t hack the pressure of the big stage.  OH!  during the line “gimme one more chance” she went from sharp to flat to sharp, then wailed like a screechy cat for the rest of the song.  Bad notes all the way through.  She was rarely on key for any of that.

  Randy: “Had some pitch problem...wasn’t my favorite vocal of yours.  I think you could have done more with it to make it in your wheelhouse as a gospel girl”.  EXACTLY RIGHT.  She tried to do a Carrie Underwood impression and failed.
  Paula: “I’m gonna have to agree with Randy...”.  “It sounded a little bit like you were shouting...” Yes.
  Simon: “It’s like eating a hamburger for breakfast, it doesn’t go together, and I don’t think you and that song went together”.  He’s also mentioning the shouting, and that she used to be the one to beat but needs to pick better songs.

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• Chris Richardson - Mayberry by Rascal Flatts.  Martina thinks he can do the country, and he’s a Virgina/Niorth Carolina boy, so...let’s see if he tries to Timberfake it again.

  It starts a little Timberfake-y.  Warbling runs instead of notes to open...but the bridge isn’t bad, he started to let go a little, but then the chorus goes maybe halfway backward.  With some rehearsal and a good producer to tell him where his mistakes are, he actually might be able to sing this kind of thing well.  As he gets back into the verse again it;s pretty good, less trying-so-hard and more of that letting go thing.  His Timberfakiness seems to be a side effect of him over-thinking and over-performing and trying to be R&B.  When he stops thinking about it and gets outside of pop and R&B he’s much better.

  Randy: “Couple pitch things - nasally - I felt lost during the song”.  Really?  I actually felt he connected with the material pretty well.  We seem to always have the exact opposite reaction to whatever the judges say about Chris.
  Paula: Paula of course agrees with the first thing she hears.
  Simon: “What I heard was a non-descript, nasally, tinny vocal which had no impact on me at all”.  See?  Opposite.

  Chris points out to Simon that nasally is a form of singing...now, Donna says the singer of Rascal Flatts has a nasally voice.  So, one of two things here: One, he’s just doing an impression, which is not good, or Two, he’s paying tribute and Simon just doesn’t dig that twangy, nasally country sound.  Which I could totally understand.  Simon wouldn’t know if it were true or not, he simply doesn’t like or listen to country.  So...this could go either way, some will dislike Chris for speaking out and some will be glad he put Simon a little bit in his place.

  OK, now I get why they mentioned Virgina Tech, Chris knows a lot of people there.  OK, I retract my complaint.

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• Melinda Doolittle is next.  OK, here’s a scary thing - as nutty as that outfit is (it’s like a halter top but full length to the mid-thigh) she looks better than most weeks.  Less Shrek-y.  Her song is Trouble Is A Woman by Julie Reeves.

  Once again...not anything new to say.  She sold it, she owned the stage, and she sang the song perfectly.  Now...it’s not a “singer’s song” meaning nowhere to really belt it and show off like Jordin had in her song.  That having been said, there’s nothing bad to say about Melinda’s performance.  The problem is song choice...the song just isn’t enough to hold your attention to one person on a stage alone.  It’s a great dancing song, a regular boot scoot boogie, as it were, but just not right for this kind of show and this kind of competition.  Still, she’ll be fine.

  Randy: “Another solid performance from our resident pro...”.  yep.
  Paula: “A girl who knows how to pick the right song and sing her heart out”.  Err?  No.
  Simon: “It was fantastic”.  he actually warned her to lose the surprise.  “I actually saw a little Tina Turner...” sure, I could see a bit of that when she was strutting.

  Seacrest mentions Blake’s name and the crowd goes nuts.  That kid is gonna be the one who actually sells records after this show is over.

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• Blake Lewis - When The Stars Go Blue, Tim McGraw.  Martina said (name-droppingly) that Tim himself told her he hoped that someone would do this song on Idol.

  OK, here’s a weird thing I picked up...Blake has a tendency of eye-checking the band for the timing.  Smart move...who knows what the on-stage mix is like, and he stays on beat by constantly eye-checking the band and counting off in little ways, with his feet, squeezes on the mike...a very pro move.

  Second thing - he looks terrified.  But.

  He nailed this song.  He gave it a little Coldplay contemporary vocal style, and took Martina’s advice to do the falsetto in a softer way.  He also hit this interesting note that starts in a soft false and ends in a full note with power.  I liked it.  In fact I couldn’t hardly tell that was ever a country song.  It could have easily been a British pop/rock ballad.  Once again I liked Blake the best as far as “would I want that on my iPod.” Jordin out-sang him, but I want to pay money for Blake’s performance.

  Randy: “You picked the right song for yourself and the arrangement suited you...that was very nice”.
  Paula: “You kinda have the whole package...great song for you”.
  Simon: “It wasn’t a jumping out of my chair performance, I thought it was OK”.  Simon never gets blake. 

  Simon also mentioned the VT thing again and that it has been a tricky week for these guys.

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Bottom three predictions - we both think the same:  Phil Stacey, LaKisha Jones, Sanjaya Malakar.  They’ll boot Phil.  Powerball pick if Sanjaya isn’t bottom three: Chris Richardson.

Posted by JimK at 08:57 PM on April 17, 2007
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Categories: Television,  American Idol
Tags:
Technorati: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell Blake Lewis Jordin Sparks Lakisha Jones Chris Richardson Melinda Doolittle Phil Stacey Sanjaya Malakar

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