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Thu, 20 May 2004 08:24:38

Yes, Virgina, there is a VRWC

The secrets can finally be told.  We’ve been granted permission to tell you the truth

Nick Berg is on a secret tropical island, with his Helliburton pension, golfing with Jack Kennedy and sharing peanut butter and bacon sandwiches with Elvis. Yucking it up with Danny Pearl. There’s a greenish glass jar in the entertainment center, beside the big screen TV. Inside, a Roswell alien floats gently, gently, upside down. A pallid little creature bobbing in a lava lamp. Some sick bastard has slapped a decal on it; “Don’t Mess With Texas”.

“Don’t Mess With Texas”, Laura.

Oh, it gets worse.

AIDS was a custom-designed biological weapon aimed at reducing the gay population of America, only it backfired and good, God-fearing white folk were affected.

Global Warming is NOT junk science, and we’ve all known it since the January newsletter a few years back.  Thing of it is, we’re doing it on purpose to weed out the weak and infirm.

We all eat babies.

We formed and funded Creed.

Worse, we also formed and funded and promoted Limp Bizkit and American Idol.

Secretly we all want to be Democrats so hippie girls that smell like patchouilli and fish will make sweet, sweet love to us in the back of a beat-up VW camper.

That feels good to get off my chest.


Posted by JimK at 08:24 AM on May 20, 2004
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Comments:

#1  Posted by Alex United States on 05/20 at 03:36 PM -

Jim,

You forgot to mention our “Super Secret” republican water & air supplies.  You know, the ones only republicans get to drink from as we let “Big Business” go about poisoning all other water sources.....

And let the dumb libs snarf up all those toxic fumes and die! My kid loves that micro filter they implanted into his sinuses! Best thing he says is that he can fart and not have to smell it.


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