Sun, 19 Nov 2006 16:13:00
Tom Cruise has got to be the most insecure pussy alive
Take a gander at the wedding photo. First of all, what amateur photographer forgot their diffuser for the pot light pointed at the background? It looks like a high school prom set. Next, I draw your attention to the fact that Tom Cruise, who is no more than five feet five inches tall at best and is rumored to be five feet three inches tall, is taller than Katie, who is around 5’10”. For those who remember, Katie was “the too-tall girl from down the creek” in Dawson’s Creek. She was almost as tall as James Van Der Beek, who is six feet tall. Her brother is 6’6” and her mother is 6’ even. What I’m saying is Katie Holmes is tall.
Lastly, note her bent knee and hunched posture, further adding to the illusion. What a pussy Tom is. Look, I’m short. or rather, American average. I’m barely, if I wish really hard, not quite 5’8”. Donna is over 5’10” and loves two inch heels. I live with it because that’s how I roll, yo - in reality. I’m short, she’s tall, and she’s coming home with me.
One can only imagine the conversation moments prior to this photo…
“Katie, I can’t be reminded that I am in fact a miniature man for the rest of my life when I see these photos. You’re going to have to bend your legs a little so I look taller.”
“But Tom, it’s my wedding day! I want to stand tall and proud!”
“Do you want the ten million or don’t you?”
Click it, it grows
That’s just sad. And I’m still pissed because Tom Cruise ruined one of the cutest brunettes in America. See how cute she was? She was freaking adorable. Now she’s forever ruined by Shorty McInsecure. Oh well. At least we’ll always have the memory of her bare jubblies in The Gift (Not Safe For Work). It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Tom Cruise is a jerkface.
Posted by JimK at 04:13 PM on November 19, 2006
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots
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Technorati: tomkat tom cruise katie holmes
Comments:
#2 Posted by Drumwaster 
on 11/19 at 09:58 PM -
Next, I draw your attention to the fact that Tom Cruise, who is no more than five feet five inches tall at best and is rumored to be five feet three inches tall, is taller than Katie, who is around 5’10”.
Tom is 5ft7.75in, while Katie is 5ft9
The main index page of the site is here.
I report, you decide.
#3 Posted by Buzzion on 11/19 at 11:14 PM -
Tom is 5ft7.75in, while Katie is 5ft9
The main index page of the site is here.
I report, you decide.
She’s still crouching down, because he’s just a shade taller than her in the photo. Bet she’s forbidden from wearing heals too.
#4 Posted by Sean Galbraith 
on 11/20 at 12:51 AM -
A good wedding photographer would have used other tricks, a higher vantage point, some kind of riser in Tom’s heels (he already might have this, actually, looking at the photo.
As a photographer, there are so many things that offend me about this image.
#5 Posted by cashin on 11/20 at 02:33 AM -
maybe they just wanted to be cheek to cheek in the photo? That’s pretty normal. I’m thinking that’ what they were going for given that Katie it also turned toward him.
But i’ve been known to be wrong
#6 Posted by Drumwaster on 11/20 at 03:02 AM -
Full disclosure: I’m 6’4”, and my wife is 5’9”, so our wedding photograph had me seated at a piano, with my wife standing behind me.
Yes, there are people out there as tall or taller, but damned few.
Fuller disclosure: one of my first girlfriends was a mere 4’9”.
#7 Posted by Harley W Daugherty on 11/20 at 05:03 PM -
How are these 2 tools even relevant??>.....................
#8 Posted by Christian on 11/21 at 12:40 AM -
And how bout the wonderful Three Minute Kiss? No no...not trying to over come some kind of insecurity.
#9 Posted by pomgrif 
on 11/25 at 06:14 AM -
Hey maybe she should have used the T Cruise butt plug that would have brought her down a bit(are we taking bets on how long she puts up with this “person”?
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“Honey, that doesn’t sound like something someone with well-operating Thetans would say. I think you need some more time in the room.”
“No! No! Please, not the room! I’ll be good! I’ll crouch! Not the room again!”