Sun, 10 Jun 2007 23:03:00
The Sopranos series finale
You know what was really great about the series finale of The Sopranos? The fact that after tonight, I never have to think about this pile of shit show ever again.
It went from being a brilliant modern retelling of the trials and tribulations of Odysseus to a boring, banal, full-of-itself pile of dreck. It all started going south when they took a pile of money to extend the series past the planned three years. It became ponderous, slow, bloated and worst of all, nothing ever happened. The finale? More of same.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Phil gets killed. Tony takes over. Who cares. How does it end?
So it ends with Tony sitting in a diner, and he picks “Don’t Stop Believin’” on the jukebox. Yeah, I get it, Chase, you ham-fisted fuck. Carmella walks in on the line “Just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world, she took the midnight train goin’ anywhere.” Yeah, Chase, I get that Tony’s the train and Carmella took him in an effort to have a better, more exciting life.
During the line “Payin’ anything to roll the dice just one more time” we get to see a close-up of Tony. Yes, you fucking hack, I get that too. During this long, boring, drawn out sequence the song is playing loudly, to signify to you the viewer that you should be paying attention. Some guy walks in ahead of AJ, and he looks Italian, but we don’t know him. Meadow pulls up and can’t get her car parked. THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING 5 MINUTES OF THE FUCKING SOPRANOS LIKE, EVER.
Anyway, some black guys come in. We’re all supposed to be scared for the family, as it looks like a hit is going down. OH! Earlier in the scene a trucker comes in and he looks for all the fucking world like Robert Patrick, and we see him twice, to reinforce the fact that we should be watching him. Anyway, Meadow gets out of the car finally, cut to Tony and the family, the door bell dings as someone - we’re supposed to think Meadow - opens the door, but halfway through the bell’s ring, it cuts off and we get silence. At the same time the bell is cut off, the lyrics cut off when Steve sings “Don’t STOP.” It cuts off on the word “stop” and goes to a black screen. Then credits, also played to silence. Then, after that, they went directly into the next show.
The whole thing was hokey, full of shit and played like a film school final project. What the FUCK was that? I could have been juggling my balls wearing sandpaper gloves and enjoyed it more.
I fucking get it, Chase. I get that if I want to think Tony and the family were killed by random black stickup guys, I “Don’t” have to “Stop Believin’.” If I want to think Trucker Patrick was a hitman, I “Don’t” have to “Stop Believin’.” If I want to think that Random Italian Man went into the men’s room and came out blasting like Michael Corleone, I “Don’t” have to “Stop Believin’.” If I want to think that Tony and the family had a peaceful dinner and went home, I “Don’t” have to “Stop Believin’.”
You fucking hack. I get it.
I’m selling the DVDs on half.com and never thinking about this show ever again. That sucked. Plain and simple. And I’m not watching anything David Chase is at the helm of ever again. Bitch sold his art for two shitty extra seasons that took four god-damned years to get on the air and a dump truck full of cash.
Posted by JimK at 11:03 PM on June 10, 2007
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Comments:
on 06/11 at 01:08 AM - #3 Posted by AlexinCT 
on 06/11 at 01:31 PM -
I have to say I expected this from what I knew about this Chase guy. This SOB dragged the show on for 2 extra season and reaped huge cash from it and nothing else. That episode was not the brilliant minimalist end he wanted or said he would give the show, it was a horrible reminder of how sucky the show has been the last 2 seasons. At least it is finally over with.
How much you want to bet we get a Soprano’s movie?
#4 Posted by Buzzion on 06/11 at 06:48 PM -
I’ve heard several say that they thought their cable had cut out at the end.
Then there’s also the theory that when the movie comes out it will start with the exact same scene, and one of the suspicious guys will get up to whack tony, but it will end up that other suspicious guys will actually be employed by tony and whack him and the movie will go from there.
I’m glad I’ve never watched an episode.
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#1 Posted by sindri
on 06/11 at 12:51 AM -
What the Fuck was my exact reaction. What a piece of shit ending. Why to thank your fans for all the hours they spent watching and thinking about your creation.
Is it possible they did this to set up a movie? That would be the only excuse for that ending.
Jericho, this ending....I thinks there is a pattern. Once they know they’re done fuck the fans. We don’t matter to anyone in Hollywood.
That really, really sucked.