Tue, 03 Jan 2006 20:31:42
The Cute Factor
I’m sorry, I just do not agree.
Cute cues are those that indicate extreme youth, vulnerability, harmlessness and need, scientists say, and attending to them closely makes good Darwinian sense. As a species whose youngest members are so pathetically helpless they can’t lift their heads to suckle without adult supervision, human beings must be wired to respond quickly and gamely to any and all signs of infantile desire.
The human cuteness detector is set at such a low bar, researchers said, that it sweeps in and deems cute practically anything remotely resembling a human baby or a part thereof, and so ends up including the young of virtually every mammalian species, fuzzy-headed birds like Japanese cranes, woolly bear caterpillars, a bobbing balloon, a big round rock stacked on a smaller rock, a colon, a hyphen and a close parenthesis typed in succession.
The greater the number of cute cues that an animal or object happens to possess, or the more exaggerated the signals may be, the louder and more italicized are the squeals provoked.
Here’s a dirty secret about me: I find most babies to be kind of ugly. It’s not until around 18-24 months that I see cuteness in kids, and a three-year-old that is cute will always, every time, get a smile out of me over an infant the rest of the world says is adorable. This is not true for all babies...just most. I’ve never told anyone their baby wasn’t adorable...I usually just say nothing and only comment on the ones I find to be actually cute.
There ain’t a lot of ‘em, so you don’t see me saying much about babies very often.
Couple that with the fact that I don’t want...ever...to have kids, and that while you’d never know it by the way I will get on the floor and play with a kid, I am uncomfortable with them...I’m like the antithesis to this theory.
Meanwhile I squee like a little girl at cute kitties and puppies and bunnies and rats and baby deer and whatever else you got that is furry and adorable. On my LiveJournal account I am subcribed to a group called “baaabyanimals.” I almost have a vagina when it comes to cute animals.
It ain’t about the human babies, I can tell you that with absolute certainty.
Posted by JimK at 08:31 PM on January 03, 2006
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Categories: Personal, Things With Fur
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Comments:
#2 Posted by chrisbg99 
on 01/04 at 03:57 AM -
I’d imagine that your outlook on newborn probably changes when you have one of your own, but thats just a guess.
And cute animals (paticularily kittens) are just great.
:-) <--- And what is cute about that? Frankly I find it rather obnoxious.
^_^ <---- Now that is cute.
#3 Posted by Drumwaster on 01/04 at 01:05 PM -
Most newborns look a lot like Winston Churchill, but without the moderating influence of “oh, well, he’s just helped win World War 2, so that’s all right then...”
There’s a reason that Reagan compared government to a newborn baby, with lots of noise at one end and… well, I’m sure you can guess the rest.
And that adoration of the newborn ends with the first diaper filled with that toxic yellow-green sludge babies can put out. Cute goes only so far.
#4 Posted by Janna on 01/04 at 02:37 PM -
My babies are always cute Jim...I don’t care what you say LOL
Seriously though...I have seen some UGLY babies in my time. I ususally say babies are precious, because they are. The cute stuff does come at a later age. Like my 4 year old telling the babysitters dog to “sit your ass down”...that’s cute. very BAD, but horribly cute!
And the line you almost have a vagina when it come to cute animals about made me piss my pants I was laughing so hard!
#5 Posted by chrisbg99 on 01/04 at 04:41 PM -
My personal favorite newborn excrement is that reportedly (never seen for myself) black, tarlike-shit they are supposed to have a shortly after birth.
#6 Posted by Janna on 01/04 at 08:33 PM -
My personal favorite newborn excrement is that reportedly (never seen for myself) black, tarlike-shit they are supposed to have a shortly after birth.
Ah! The meconium or whatever it’s called. Let me tell you from experience...that is some NASTY stuff. And it is soooo hard to clean off. it is like tar..it just STICKS to the butt! It’s very gross. I try to time it so that the nurses have the baby at that time so I don’t have to clean it up but it doesn’t always work that way.
Gosh...and I get to deal with that in a month and a half...ewwww
#7 Posted by JimK on 01/04 at 08:54 PM -
Janna, YOUR baby will be the exception. I know it.
What...why you looking at me like I’m not sincere? ;)
I do love your boys...but then, they’s a little older and can do cool (read: disturbing and evil) stuff. Little kids being precocious makes me smile all day long. See also; I like to teach kids to swear. I have done it many a time...I usually wait until they’re old enough to understand a secret...that way we can share the secret dirty words and I can impress on them to not share the secret with people in school, etc.
Don’t ever let me near your boys. I will turn them into little hellions in leather. With tattoos. :)
#8 Posted by Janna on 01/05 at 05:51 PM -
Jim...they are already little hellions! And I get to deal with them alone...go ME! :-)
I unfortunatley have a very bad potty mouth especially when I am angry or in traffic...so the boys know lots of swear words. Take the same 4 year old on Christmas Eve...left a toy in the car and mommy’s exact quote was , “I don’t care about your god-dammed toy”
So Christmas Day...in the car and he sees it..."Mommy look, my god-dammed toy”. There are just oh so many more like that. I try hard not to swear around them but it just never works.
And since I have tattoos I think it’s safe to say the boys will to. They like mine. ANd leather can be cool depending on how it is worn LOL
I think it would be cool to have you around the boys...see if you can teach them words I haven’t yet. It could be a challenge.
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Hm, but your reaction to human babies might be more a conditioned response to the fact that they’re annoying, messy, loud, and time-consuming. IE, the dislike is learned, the like of other stuff is innate.