Mon, 14 Feb 2005 00:11:58
Oh, there’s a health care crisis around here, you betcha
...and it ain’t human.
I had to take Jeri (one of the rats born of the Loins of Hell) to the doctor for treatment of a big ole tumor. You have to realize that I love my pets, so everything I say after this is just bitching, because I have done all this before and am prepared to do it again. That having been said…
Could she cost a little more maybe? Somehow? I’m sure that she wasn’t stitched up with solid gold, nor were her organs replaced with diamonds. WTF? First of all, some comedy. The Rat Shirt:
Click me, I get bigger
Oh, does she HATE the Rat Shirt. She is refusing to do anything but lie around except for the few minutes a day when she tries, quite violently, to remove the shit by dragging herself forward and backward, jumping, twisting and when all else fails, throwing herself straight up into the screen on the top of the tank. She hates the shirt, but it’s the only way to keep her from biting at the incision. I had to take her back the day after surgery to get real stitches (they used flesh glue initially) because she was being a brat.
So this is what she’s worth now, investment-wise:
Vet trip: $40
Hospital bill as follows, and boy do they treat this just like a human hospital:
Pre-anesthetic Lab Screen - $44
Laboratory Interpretation - $10
Tumor/Cyst Removal (45 min) - $75
Surgical Assistant - $18
Anes. Preop & Induction - $16
Forane Anesthesia - $20
Operating room/supplies - $39
Hospitalization (General) - $34
Biohazard Management Fee (Rat poop and bloody bandages!) - $4
Biopsy - $99.50
Laboratory Interpretation - $16
TOTAL - $395.50
And the second trip to the hospital:
Forane Anesthesia - $16
Anes. Preop & Induction - $13
Pocket Pet (with owner’s cage) (WTF?) - $15
Biohazard Management Fee - $4
Bandage (small) - $10
Bandage Application - $6
Laceration Repair (15 min) - $25
TOTAL - $89
Jeri is now the $524.50 rat.
Posted by JimK at 12:11 AM on February 14, 2005
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#2 Posted by Rann Aridorn 
on 02/14 at 03:48 AM -
Hey, chris? Fuck off and die, okay?
Heh, Jim, you’re one of two people I know who’s crazy for rats. I’ve gotten to where I just naturally assume “babies” refers to something four-legged and with a furless tail.
#3 Posted by misterd on 02/14 at 04:03 AM -
Never had a rat myself, though I did have a mouse before some f*cker stole it from my classroom (not really counting all the live mice I’ve fed to snakes and bullfrogs).
But I did have a $14 rabbit that I used for nature education way back when. Little guy fell off my bed, dislocated his knee cap, and needed to have $400 worth of surgery to put it back. Vet told me they had done it to horses and dogs, but this was the 1st time he ever heard of it done for a bunny.
Still, it wasn’t like I needed that money for food or rent, and if you asked me now, years after the little guy died, I would still say its money well spent.
We really are f*cking stupid, aren’t we? ;)
#4 Posted by chrisbg99 on 02/14 at 04:49 AM -
Hey, chris? Fuck off and die, okay?
Heh, Jim, you’re one of two people I know who’s crazy for rats. I’ve gotten to where I just naturally assume “babies” refers to something four-legged and with a furless tail.
Can’t a guy make a joke? My family did the same thing for one my brother’s rats. Didn’t pay as much but still.
#5 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 02/14 at 05:27 AM -
As someone who’s watch a pet die tragically not too long ago, I have to say, no, chris, a guy can not make a fucking joke. The phrase “Is nothing sacred?” is there for a reason.
#6 Posted by jo-jo on 02/14 at 02:51 PM -
as someone who has paid who knows HOW much for xrays on a chinchilla, plus care, plus having to give daily injections for 2 weeks (it was horrible) etc., and as someone who has owned both rats and mice in the past… i wouldn’t even blink spending that much.
#7 Posted by Toastrider on 02/16 at 03:52 AM -
Thank God my hounds are healthy ;)
*curls up with the basset hounds*
--Toasty
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That rat better last forever.
It’ll be dead in a week.