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Sat, 11 Aug 2007 17:06:01

My week in weight loss

See, you all are like, the watchers.  I know that no one cares that much about a fat blogger trying to get healthy, but by posting this stuff in public, someone out there will call me on my shit if I don’t progress.  Therefore, I burden you with these posts.

Hey, at least I post hot chicks and goofy shit all the time.  There has to be some downside to coming here.  I think that’s a law of physics or something.

ANY-ways…

on Monday, I had to skip my usual supervised PT appointment to take Donna to an important doctor's appointment. On the way home, regardless of the fact that I had very lean pork in the fridge ready for a low-fat-but-hearty meal, I decided that since her appointment sucked hog balls, she should be rewarded with one of the awesomest steaks in the known worlds. I make that awesomest steak, by the way, because I rule. So I stopped at the only decent meat market within a cosmic light year and bought two two-inch-thick ribeyes. They have to be that thick so as to develop the right char on the outside while still keeping the inside tender.

Umm, here's the thing. I sort of forgot that I was watching what I eat and I ate my entire steak, and around five ounces of Donna's as well. I ate about 30 ounces of steak that night. I was a very, very bad person. I ate approximately two days worth of calories in one meal. So begins the week of atonement.

Tuesday I went to the pool to make up for missing Monday. I swam a full quarter mile and did a half-hour of medium-speed exercise. I also dropped my total calorie intake for any given day to 1800. Wednesday I did the usual land and water PT. I also swam another quarter mile. Later that night I thought that my arms and legs were going to fall right the fuck off. I weighed myself and I had gained back three frigging pounds. I tried to eat lighter all week. Yesterday I did a "Friday" pool workout minus the laps, as I was still sore-bordering-on-hurt. I also tried a new cereal yesterday. Fiber One. If you watched SNL during the Phil Hartman years, you remember this commercial for Colon Blow and Super Colon Blow:



Yeah, they invented that. It's called Fiber One. I have lost four-and-a-half full pounds in just over 29 hours. This is not a liquidity issue. This is exactly the promise of a fiber cereal - regularity, only...a lot of it. A painful amount of regularity. As well as the abdominal distension promised in the commercial. :)

I am going right back to Raisin Bran. I learned my lesson with the curry, and now I have learned it with the fiber cereal.

Anyway, I'm down from pre-steak weight and overall, and I'm used to the lower calorie intake, so I may drop it another notch next week. What I am not doing is eating any more of that Fiber One bullshit. That's some fucked-up nonsense that does inhumane things to one's ass region.

Posted by JimK at 05:06 PM on August 11, 2007
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Comments:

Harley W Daugherty#1  Posted by Harley W Daugherty United States on 08/11 at 07:16 PM -

hang in there dude.. in one week i lost 8 pounds on my diet.. then nothing..  flat lined…
but i am sticking with it, for the most part, still gaining a bit of ground…

#2  Posted by Noblebrown United States on 08/12 at 03:32 AM -

Heheh, high fiber diet = laying 30 feet of cable in six hours. Am I close?

jo-jo#3  Posted by jo-jo United States on 08/12 at 03:53 PM -

are you doing the diet part of this on your own?  i would highly recommend you see a nutritionist if you’re not already…

#4  Posted by ez42x10 United States on 08/12 at 05:58 PM -

have you considered a low-carb diet?  it’s not for everyone, but my girlfriend has been doing it for almost a year and has been very successful.  and the best part… you can eat as much rib-eye as you want!

Harley W Daugherty#5  Posted by Harley W Daugherty United States on 08/12 at 11:44 PM -

what has anyone seen the new Flash Gordon?
?


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