Mon, 20 Aug 2007 13:27:01
Mondays suck
I know this because I grew up reading the worst comic strip of all time, Garfield. So, in order to brighten your Monday, I bring you stunning redheads. Not Safe For Work, of course…
First, a somewhat girl-next-door type named Lida, gallivanting naked in the Sahara. Nice. Next, the kind of redhead that makes some men cry tears of joy, Heather Carolin. Drapes match the carpet, folks.
You’re welcome. Also, I found this on my desktop after a weird Ambien fugue last night:
“I’m telling you, you can’t always get what you want.” He looked at me like I said something wrong.
“What? What did I say?”
“Dude you’re doing it again. Talking to me in song titles and lyrics and shit. Do NOT tell me that if I try sometime I’ll get what I need. I swear to God I will whipcrack you right in your junk if you do this to me on this goddamned day. Just shut up.”
“Wow, you’re hostile. Angry even. Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m...”
“SHUT IT! SHUT YOUR FUCKING GAPING MAW. If you quote the wisdom of David Banner at me, I swear to Christ and all the little angels I will pull a scam where I take out an ad in the paper looking for the most beautiful woman in America willing to have sex for money, and when she arrives, I will fuck her eighteen times while you are tied to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, watching, and when you can’t take it any more, we’ll pull off her mask and it will all be a setup, and the whole time it was your mom. I will have violated the anus of your mother while you cheered me on and yelled “Fuck that slag, jam it in her shitbox.” Then I will put you and your mother on a slow bus driving across the entire country in order to get home, so you will have plenty of time to talk about what happened. Do you want me to do that? Because I’ll call my people right fucking now if you don’t SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
“OK. God. All you had to do was ask me to be quiet. You fucking drama queen.”
I don’t know what on earth that would ever fit into, but I like that second guy’s style.
Posted by JimK at 01:27 PM on August 20, 2007
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Categories: Beautiful Women, Humor
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Technorati: beautiful women
Heather Carolin
Comments:
#2 Posted by artmonkey 
on 08/20 at 04:51 PM -
By the way, thanks for the pics.
God knows, I luvs me some firecrotch.
Thing is, though… you neglected to include
the single hottest redhead to ever walk the Earth…
(Donna nonwithstanding, of course. But then, I doubt we’ll ever see her au natural. That’s strictly a Jim treat.)
Anyway… what about the super-nova-hot
redheaded superbabe, Christy Hemme???
You know… just sayin’.
#3 Posted by Sean Galbraith on 08/20 at 07:28 PM -
Oh please, Jim, give me a fucking break.
Everyone knows the worst comic is Family Circus.
Every time you open the comics…
There it is…
In the corner… waiting to suck.
YOU HAVE NO CREDIBILITY AS A COMIC CRITIC!
:p
#4 Posted by JimK on 08/20 at 08:02 PM -
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
THE STAPLES CENTER IS PROUD TO PRESENT
FOR THE UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT SUCK COMIC TITLE OF THE WORLD
IN THE BLUE CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT MERE 29 YEARS OF AGE...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR-FIELD!
AND IN THE RED CORNER, A VETERAN OF 47 YEARS OF BATTLES FOR SUCK SUPREMACY,
THE FAAAAAAMMMMIILLLYYYYYY CIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRCUS!
THIS BOUT IS 8 ROUNDS UNDER A TEN-POINT-MUST SYSTEM. THERE MUST BE A WINNER!
#5 Posted by Sean Galbraith on 08/20 at 08:20 PM -
And yet in the end, we all lose.
#6 Posted by Buzzion on 08/20 at 08:31 PM -
Garfield is created by jim davis, a man who has a degree in marketing. He works to make sure there isn’t too much garfield saturation (such as stopping production on the garfield window suckers), and the reason he chose a cat is because a dog was already taken by Peanuts.
I think that’s round 1 to Garfield :P
#7 Posted by morganafq on 08/20 at 08:51 PM -
Thing is, though… you neglected to include
the single hottest redhead to ever walk the Earth…
(Donna nonwithstanding, of course. But then, I doubt we’ll ever see her au natural. That’s strictly a Jim treat.)
Ummmmm… artmonkey? I already have nakes up on the interwebs. Been up for a while now. You haven’t seen them?
If you ask nicely.... Jim or I might post the link.... ;)
#8 Posted by Joe R. 
on 08/20 at 10:40 PM -
I mean, it’s a cat...who eats lasagna! That’s hilarious, and if you don’t like it, you hate America!
#9 Posted by Drumwaster on 08/20 at 11:23 PM -
This would have been better timed last week - Monday the 13th.
#10 Posted by Buzzion on 08/21 at 12:16 AM -
Garfield would vote democrat. He does nothing all day, and still expects to reap the benefits of those who actually work.
#11 Posted by Harley W Daugherty on 08/21 at 06:15 AM -
DEAR GOD! , thank you for redheads..........
#12 Posted by working_man on 08/21 at 05:12 PM -
If you ask nicely.... Jim or I might post the link.... ;)
Pretty please?
:-)
#13 Posted by artmonkey on 08/21 at 05:16 PM -
Ummmmm… artmonkey? I already have nakes up on the interwebs. Been up for a while now. You haven’t seen them?
So I’m writing this comment to Donna about how I never knew, and about how I don’t know if I could even handle Seeing those pictures,
when a mischievous little voice shoots over my shoulder with, “OOh… I’d like to see that.”
I check for the little artmonkey with the horns and pitchfork, of course… but he’s not there. Neither is the other little one with the wings. (Though he’s usually absent, anyway.)
What I dosee is my darling Jennifer, one eyebrow raised and a crooked, evil grin from ear to ear.
I guess you can imagine the pure joy in my heart in seeing that.
#14 Posted by JimK on 08/21 at 07:16 PM -
I don’t know what you people are thinking. It’s not like I’m going to just show you naked pictures of my wife.
Oh shit. FUCK. Dammit. See what you made me do?
(And when she eventually gets them re-done, she’s going to be unstoppable with the exhibitionism...hoo boy. :) )
#15 Posted by JimK on 08/21 at 07:16 PM -
Anyway… what about the super-nova-hot
redheaded superbabe, Christy Hemme???
She is lookin’ fine these days (I watch TNA). I may have to collect some…
#16 Posted by CaptCBleu on 08/21 at 10:18 PM -
uhhh Jim, how much is it to join your wifes fan club?
Evan
#17 Posted by Harley W Daugherty on 08/21 at 11:06 PM -
I don’t know what you people are thinking. It’s not like I’m going to just show you naked pictures of my wife.
Oh shit. FUCK. Dammit. See what you made me do?
(And when she eventually gets them re-done, she’s going to be unstoppable with the exhibitionism...hoo boy. :) )
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
#18 Posted by JimK on 08/21 at 11:33 PM -
uhhh Jim, how much is it to join your wifes fan club?
Good gawdz I feel like a pimp now. ;)
#19 Posted by Christian on 08/22 at 01:49 AM -
First off, Family Circus makes much more sense if you realize that they are the Children of the Dammed, and everyone who makes them angry goes beyond the cornfield…
Secondly, Jim, I have always thought you were a
P I M P my friend!!
#20 Posted by artmonkey on 08/22 at 11:16 AM -
Dammit, Jim…
(in my best DeForest Kelley voice, of course.)
Now you’ve gone and made me feel like a complete prick for lusting after your wife.
...you bastard.
(In my best Peter Griffin voice, of course.)
Now I’m going to have to get even, and post
a link to Jen’s nakes or something.
And btw… holy crap, those are perky.
What’s your secret, Donna?
#21 Posted by artmonkey on 08/22 at 11:27 AM -
She is lookin’ fine these days (I watch TNA). I may have to collect some…
I was at the bookstore at 9:00 AM the day her playboy came out.
...same thing for Ashley Massaro’s.
I’m just a wrestling babe junkie, I guess.
(And when she eventually gets them re-done, she’s going to be unstoppable with the exhibitionism...hoo boy. :) )
I knew there was a good reason I wanted to buy an SLR…
Good gawdz I feel like a pimp now. ;)
Yeah… I wish.
#22 Posted by artmonkey on 08/22 at 08:32 PM -
Okay.. home now.
And able to show those to Jen.
Her first comment..?
“And where do they live again? Connecticut, right?
That’s only like 3 hours drive from here, isn’t it?”
Donna, I think you have a new #1 fan.
(And a very grateful hubby of a #1 fan, who oh-too-rarely gets to see that side of her.)
Hey Jim, you remember that ”YET.” comment
of yours from a few posts back...?
Heh…
Oh, and, as promised… turnabout is fair play, right?
Okay, so it isn’t exactly a fair trade… just a little bit of a tease, actually.
Thing is, all our others are a little too… err… racy. But I already have plans, very soon, or taking some good ones.
It’s just a little hard to do while my Nana is visiting from Phoenix, y’know?
I can just imagine that conversation…
Nana: What the… what is she almost wearing?
Me: Oh, uhmm… she’s taking nursing classes.
That’s her nursing uniform.
Nana: They make them out of latex, now, huh?
Me: Oh yeah… much easier to clean the blood off
that way.
Nana: Mmm hmm… and what about the riding crop?
Me: Err… we rented a horse? We’re very
concerned about reducing our dependence on
foreign oil, after all…
Nana: Right. And I suppose the
crotchless panties are to save on air
conditioning, huh?
Me: Oh, no no… she’s just a whore.
#23 Posted by working_man on 08/23 at 10:10 AM -
Donna - those pictures sizzle and so do you!
JimK - you are one lucky SOB!
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To paraphrase the late, great Rick James…
Ambien’s a hell of a drug.