Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:59:00
Gas on the fire
I’m just making it worse with this, I know, but I can’t help myself. I laughed at this and got the point...so I wanted to share.
Unattributed, passed around via email forwards, are the top ten reasons the U.S. cannot enact gay marriage:
- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Posted by JimK at 12:59 PM on October 26, 2007
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend |
Categories: Humor, News, Politics, The Stupidity Of Man
Tags:
Technorati: Politics
gay marriage
Comments:
#2 Posted by Rann Aridorn 
on 10/26 at 06:39 PM -
i know the latter doesn’t work, it least it hasn’t in 10 years. why do you think i married someone 1’2” taller than me?
‘Cause he has an enormous schwanshtucker?
#3 Posted by MunDane on 10/27 at 11:39 AM -
it could have something to do with enormous tracts of land as well…
#4 Posted by Sean Galbraith 
on 11/01 at 11:26 PM -
Another country collapses. First it was Canada in shambles. The gay plague it just terrible.
RSS (Subscribe)
Tip jars (Donate today!)
i know the latter doesn’t work, it least it hasn’t in 10 years. why do you think i married someone 1’2” taller than me?