Tue, 29 May 2007 11:54:00
Gamer take a bullet for security guard
This story is all over the gaming blogs. Let me tell you why it is impossible.
1. Almost all forms of guns are banned or severely restricted in the UK, so no gun crime could possibly occur.
2. All gamers are homicidal, self-absorbed maniacs and therefore it cannot be that Adam Mapelson ran to help a woman being menaced by armed thugs. All reason and ration dictates that he obviously went to help menace her, but due to the fact that murderous criminals and gamers are the same - and cannot get along - they began to fight amongst themselves and the gamer took the worst of it. Of course he was never shot at all, since...well, see #1.
A HERO commuter who collapsed pouring with blood yesterday after he was blasted in the chest tackling armed robbers on his way to work has regained conciousness, said police.
Brave Adam Mapleson, 24, was gunned down as he raced to help a terrified woman security guard.
Fellow commuters watched in horror as two gun thugs — who had held up the woman as she loaded a cashpoint machine — shot the IT consultant outside his local rail station.
Adam, shot at close range, was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery.
Last night he was fighting for life with parents Michael and Carolyn at his bedside.
But today, a British Transport Police spokeswoman said Adam’s condition had improved.
She said: “Adam is in a comfortable and slightly improved condition.
“He has regained consciousness overnight but remains in the high dependency unit at Southend Hospital.”
In all seriousness, I hope Adam gets better fast. He’s quite the credit to youth, gamers and general humanity at large. We could do with a few million more gamers like this, no? So how do we know he’s a gamer, by the way? Myspace, of course. He’s a Half-Life2/Counterstrike/GTA fan. Sweet. Hopefully as he recovers. someone will get him an Xbox 360 and a copy of Crackdown to while away the hours. I’d be honored to run the streets of Pacific City with him.
Posted by JimK at 11:54 AM on May 29, 2007
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Categories: News, International Events, Crime and Criminals, Guns - 2nd Amendment, Technobabble (Technology), Gaming
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Technorati: Adam Mapelson, gamers, gaming, heroes, crime
Comments:
#2 Posted by Repubidan 
on 05/29 at 05:38 PM -
And dear god can u get rid of that fucking german flag? I’m an American goddammit plus im not even in fucking germany!
#3 Posted by JimK 
on 05/29 at 06:54 PM -
Heh...I suspect that the military is routing your internet traffic to an IP number in Germany...that’s all that flag means, that your IP was in that country when you posted.
You can get me via email at stark23x at gmail dot com!
#4 Posted by chrisbg99 on 05/29 at 06:56 PM -
Don’t you see Jim? Gaming is at fault because he thought that because a character can take a barrage of gunfire in a game that he could in real life.
Thus videogames are evil and should be banned.
/sarcasm (though I’d hope not necessary)
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#1 Posted by Repubidan
on 05/29 at 05:37 PM -
Hey Jim,
It’s your favorite Cav Scout reader again writing you all the way from Iraq! I have a semi-retarded quiestion for you real quick. I was going to ask you something but for the life of me can’t find you email on here and there’s about 10 minutes for me to get to hit the bunk to get enough sleep to only be horrendously tired tomarrow while out there kicking terroist ass instead of dear-god-im-going-to-pass-out tired. could u ummm post your email in a comment so I can send my quiestion to you tomarrow. Eh Eh? Hook a buddy up and don’t make me search anymore! Feel free to call me a dumbass btw…