Sat, 08 May 2004 23:41:01
Dr. Powerbombo, or How I learned to Stop Being So Uptight And Just Enjoy Pro Wrestling
I am a fan of professional wrestling.
I may have mentioned this before, but if not...there you have it. I’m a fan. A big fan. I watch it ALL the time, I go to live shows, I belong to message boards about it, I even pay money to keep up with two of the premium “news sites” (known in the business as “dirt sheets") so’s I don’t miss nuthin’.
I watch all kinds of wrestling. I watch WWE, of course, all 4 shows broadcast in America that contain actual matches. But I also watch videotapes and DVDs of every promotion you can think of, old and new. I download stuff from Usenet all the time. I watch NWA-TNA (not often anymore, but sometimes), I try NEVER to miss an ROH show until the recent scandal, I watch old FMW and ECW, WCW, Big Japan, All-Japan, New Japan, CZW, 3PW, old Smoky Mountain, Portland...you name it, I have probaly seen it at least once. I think I must have at least 50 wrestling DVDs and probably close to 100 videotapes...and I’m a *lightweight* in that department among real dedicated fans.
It’s not cool to like pro wrestling anymore, although it’s starting to make a comeback again. One of the reasons I think that is silly is because without pro wrestling, television as an idustry was doomed.
In the early days of TV, there wasn’t a lot of programming. Someone quickly figured out that they could just point a camera at any arena on a Wednesday, Friday or Saturday night and have hours and hours of cheap, exciting TV. It caught on, and everyone and their brother had to have a TV so they could watch wrestling, and *then* they started loving other aspects of TV, like soaps, the news, etc. It was wrestling that birthed the beast, though, so if you love your MTV, and let’s face it, somebody must, then you can thank professional wrestling.
All you 51.5 million nutters that cried at the end of Friends? Thank wrestling, before I dragon-choke your ass into submission.
I’m sick of apologizing for being such a fan. I won’t do it any more. So come one, join me, and add your voice to the chorus. Say it: “I watch pro wrestling, I enjoy pro wrestling, and I don’t care who knows it!”
There’s no place else on earth where you can watch perfectly normal people pump ridiculous amounts of iron, beat the crap out of each other in an effort to pretend to be beating the crap out of each other only *moderately* worse than they actually are, and then watch hot chicks wearing very little parade around being little Alexis Carringtons and sometimes they get to wrestle too. It’s the silliest, and most dramatic, stuff imaginable. It’s dance, fighting, acting, comedy, tittilation and drama, set against the backdrop of a soap opera with violence, wrapped in a package that is socially acceptable for men to say they like. You can’t admit that you watch All My Children with your wife every day (and fuck you, I KNOW you men are out there you lying sacks of shit, I’m not the only one), but you can say you saw Chris Benoit beat the tar out of Sean Michaels last week without fear of your masculinity being questioned. :)
So from now on, you’re going to see more wrestling commentary from me. If I have to lead the charge alone, and bear the brunt of the jokes and ridicule, so be it. I’m willing to take one for the good of the team.
Some of you rooty-toot nancy boys better step up and back me, or The Stark is gonna come lookin for you, take that keyboard you’re hiding behind, shine it up *REAL* nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and shove it straight up your CANDY ASS.
And that’s the bottom line, because Jim K. said so.
Posted by JimK at 11:41 PM on May 08, 2004
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Categories: Entertainment, Combat Sports, Personal, Things To Ponder
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#2 Posted by Heinrich Walker 
on 05/09 at 03:29 AM -
So, Jim, you also a fan of Santo? Any wrestling fan who isn’t a fan of El Enmascarado de Plata is, in my opinion, only a half-fan at best. More likely a quarter-fan, I suppose. Santo was not just a wrestler. He WAS, and still IS, wrestling!\r
\r
And his movies rule.
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#1 Posted by Steve of Norway
on 05/09 at 03:11 AM -
Call me harsh, but I personally thought when Vince canned Bret Hart, it was the beginning of something better for the (former)WWF. Could’ve cared less it happened in Canada. It allowed Austin, Foley, and The Rock to rise up.