Wed, 29 Sep 2004 03:08:15
Does he know any other words?
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry told voters in America’s Dairyland on Monday that President Bush had a secret plan that would hurt milk producers after the election.
Does he ever say anything but “Bush has a secret plan to...?” Let me just solve this now and get out all the secret plans that I know of, being a member of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
Bush has a secret plan to force your mother into a life of white slavery. Yes, YOUR mother.
Bush has a secret plan to outlaw all political debate and name himself Supreme Dictator For Life.
Bush has a secret plan to block out the sun and force you to use electricty, which will of course make Ken Lay a trajillionaire.
Bush has a secret plan to develop 471 more secret plans.
Bush has a secret plan to steal your children and turn them into Slurm.
That’s all we have for now. More as we develop more secret plans. Secrets about which of course, only John Kerry knows the truth.
Hat tip to Cabal of Doom.
Posted by JimK at 03:08 AM on September 29, 2004
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#2 Posted by Rann Aridorn 
on 09/29 at 02:09 PM -
Has there EVER been another election where a candidate used -conspiracy theories- against his opponent? This would be akin to, during the Cold War, a presidential nominee shouting “My opponent is a commie!” Not having been alive then, I don’t know, maybe one did, but it seems like they might have been a bit more subtle…
#3 Posted by Alex on 09/29 at 02:18 PM -
Jim,
I already sold my mom into white slavery about 10 years ago… How is Bush going to handle that?
Oh wait! I see Bush has another 471 secret plans, and I bet one of those addresses that. Never mind.
#4 Posted by verukasalt on 09/29 at 03:36 PM -
Soilent green… ITS PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!
#5 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 09/29 at 06:02 PM -
More than that, it’s disenfranchised black Democrat voter people! THAT’S how they were kept from voting!
#6 Posted by ironmaiden on 09/30 at 04:02 AM -
Dems have been spouting off for years about Republicans doing away with Social Security, raising taxes on the poor, etc,etc,etc. The newest twist is that “W” will have the draft reinstated. The only bill being sponsored for that is the Dems in Congress. Good ole Michael Moore is out on college campuses promoting this latest lie. Surprise? Nope.
#7 Posted by fangbeer on 09/30 at 12:35 PM -
I wonder if I can get any money out of the Democratic campaign for Laura’s secret Texas Chili recipe.
#8 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 09/30 at 12:58 PM -
fangbeer: Is it… PEOPLE?!
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#1 Posted by Janna
on 09/29 at 01:34 PM -
this is too funny
Take a look at that. I laughed my butt off. I think all would enjoy this. I can’t wait for the debates though, just to see and hear what both sides have to say. I know it’s a little OT so I appologize