Wed, 03 Oct 2007 17:25:00
Cavemen sucks. It’s horrible and everyone involved should never work again
Seriously. That new Cavemen show is one of the worst things I have ever watched on television and I watched the ENTIRE run of Painkiller Jane.
Every “joke,” and I hesitate to call them jokes, are simply swapping out things about and words for black people and substituting caveman stuff.
“...Cro-Maggers.”
“Don’t say that word.”
“Dude it’s OK when we say it.”
Imagine 75 variations on that joke, and you just watched Cavemen
On top of being a commercial stretched to a series, being built on the world’s most ridiculous premise - and having just horrible prosthetics on the leads - the show doesn’t deliver any funny. Like...ever. Thinly-veiled bitching about racism, thinly-veiled actual racism on the part of the show, bad sitcom setups, no punchlines, a sad attempt at being a no-laugh-track single-camera-but-with-multiple-cameras comedy...it’s fucking awful and I want those minutes back. No one involved with getting this piece of crap on the air should be allowed to work in the production of television or movies ever again.
*UPDATE*
Apparently I saw the pre-air version of the show. Allegedly ABC eliminated most of the racism and turned it even less funny.
Wow. I thought zero minus zero would still be zero, but according to reports, ABC has managed to create a negative vortex of comedy. Expect some of the funny to be sucked out of your favorite shows now due to this imbalance in the fabric of space.
Posted by JimK at 05:25 PM on October 03, 2007
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#2 Posted by spaceworlder 
on 10/03 at 09:04 PM -
I saw the retooled version that was aired on Tuesday, and it was terrible. The punchline to the entire show is that it’s everyday people engaging in everyday situations...*but they’re cavemen*!! Also, there’s Wikipedia jokes.
#3 Posted by Harley W Daugherty on 10/03 at 09:24 PM -
AH network TV!
feel the pain!
#4 Posted by Helo on 10/03 at 09:32 PM -
Wow, that sucks. The commercials were hilarious. Too bad they couldn’t stretch 30 seconds into 30 minutes.
#5 Posted by jo-jo on 10/03 at 09:53 PM -
omg that show was 30 minutes i will never ever EVER get back…
#6 Posted by JimK on 10/03 at 10:04 PM -
I gotta call shenanigans. You watched the whole run of Painkiller Jane? I don’t even think Kristanna Loken’s mom or her lesbian lover watched the whole run. Did you get paid?
OK, I have to explain this.
First of all, it’s REALLY hard for me to walk away from a show, a book, a movie, etc. Once I start watching/reading/listening/whatever, I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. Even when I don’t like something, I tend to stay with it until either I literally want to rip my eyes out, or it comes to some conclusion that I can walk away from.
I kept hoping PKJ would finally capitalize on its potential. Then I had to see if they ever mentioned that building again. Then I had to see if Jane turned on the team. I suffered through every frigging goddamned moment of that show. The writing was typical SciFi Network, the acting was below even their standards, and Loken’s only real contribution, besides flashing her tramp stamp once in awhile, was never, ever closing her mouth.
Not even in the shower.
I’m not kidding. She never closes her mouth. I think it’s an acting choice. Either that or she is literally hoping to catch flies.
#7 Posted by Christian on 10/04 at 01:34 AM -
Well I can get that. I have the entire run of Flash Gordon on my Tivo, knowing full well it sux ass, but can’t erase it in hopes that i might redeem itself.
Yes yes...kettle/pot.
#8 Posted by chrisbg99 on 10/04 at 03:29 AM -
Sort of makes me glad I don’t have cable right now.
Sort of.
#9 Posted by Buzzion on 10/04 at 09:40 AM -
Well I can get that. I have the entire run of Flash Gordon on my Tivo, knowing full well it sux ass, but can’t erase it in hopes that i might redeem itself.
Yes yes...kettle/pot.
Yeah but now you need to watch Flash Gordon. BSG mini episodes will air during it, about Adama and the first war with the cylons.
#10 Posted by Green Lantern on 10/04 at 11:56 AM -
I only managed about 10 minutes of CM, before asking myself WTF am I doing. Maybe the purpose of the show is to make all of us a dumb as the CM. What is really sad, is the guys in the commericals are better actors and have better make up. You know you are really bad when a geico commerical kicks your ass in quality. Maybe next season ABC will do a series on Vikings that can’t pillage anymore and have to get new jobs and go around saying “whats in your wallet”. I want my time back, or at least the brain cells that I lost. Again, I don’t understand how this crap gets picked up and Aquaman didn’t.
Have they had any of the BSG minis yet? If so does anyone know where they might be downloaded?
#11 Posted by Buzzion on 10/04 at 12:57 PM -
No I think they may start this week though. Not sure though.
#12 Posted by mgnmfrc1 on 10/04 at 01:19 PM -
I didin’t have tohe courage to watch it. The make up from the previews looked horrible. Was that supposed to be part of the joke? This was a stupid concept to begin with. Geico’s commercials were smart, how proud the writers must be to be totally p3wned by a commercial. Honestly.
#13 Posted by Yahonza on 10/04 at 06:33 PM -
This is a classic, like Chevy Chase’s talk show.
Its so bad, its kind of fascinating.
I look forward to watching the few precious remaining episodes. Then it will be gone forever, no reruns, no DVDs, just gone.
#14 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 10/04 at 08:42 PM -
First of all, it’s REALLY hard for me to walk away from a show, a book, a movie, etc.
I understand, man. I went through almost everything Laurell K. Hamilton has ever written because of something like that, some desperation to see a return on the time I’ve already invested.
That kind of shit hurts, doesn’t it?
I can only think of two novels I ever just plain ditched because I couldn’t stand to slog through them anymore (not counting ones that simply failed to create any interest within the first few pages). “Congo” by Michael Crichton, and “Zombie Lover” by Piers Anthony.
#15 Posted by Christian on 10/05 at 02:23 AM -
I understand, man. I went through almost everything Laurell K. Hamilton has ever written because of something like that, some desperation to see a return on the time I’ve already invested.
God is that right. I loved her early stuff, but lately its just page after page of bad sex. I mean, how can you make sex this boring?
And on the BSG Mini’s, thats why I have left FG on my tivo. Can’t wait for Razor.
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I gotta call shenanigans. You watched the whole run of Painkiller Jane? I don’t even think Kristanna Loken’s mom or her lesbian lover watched the whole run. Did you get paid?
And man, you are a braver dude than I to watch Cm in its entirety. I watched up to the first commercial and realized the more I watched this the dumber I got. After 10 minutes, I couldn’t do math any more.
As I have said in the past, You are a braver man than I.
On an entirely unrelated sidenote, I got my Xbox last week in time to play Halo 3. And thank the gods I did. WOW. All I gotta say is that I want a Gravity Hammer for Xmas.