Thu, 16 Feb 2006 12:46:00
Call the cops? Hells no, call a reporter
This week the New York 911 call center was moved - to the New York Times. The 911 staff has also been replaced by up and coming reporters who will evaluate the newsworthiness of emergency calls and make sure reporters get on the scene before passing them on to police.
“Too often people have called the police instead of the media,” said Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. “Citizens call the fire department, they drive people to hospitals, and all the time some poor reporter is stuck in an office not knowing what is going on in his own city. This has got to stop!
I agree! No more should people contact law enforcement for law enforcement issues! From now on, everyone’s first call should be to the New York Times. Not just any media outlet...I say all 911 service for the whole nation be routed through the NYT offices. After all, they’re the only people on Earth qualified to decide what is important.
Just ask them.
Posted by JimK at 12:46 PM on February 16, 2006
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Categories: Humor, News, Politics, The Fourth Estate
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Technorati: White House Cheney politics media Whittington humor
Comments:
#2 Posted by dimcoin
on 02/17 at 01:32 AM -
If you read some of their stories you will realize that that site makes up stories. Much like theonion.com does. Its just done in a more subtle way. You should check your your ces next time.;)
#3 Posted by dimcoin
on 02/17 at 01:34 AM -
The motto of the site is “News Satire that’s Right for You” And apparently the newspaper is run by a person known simply as pluto.
#4 Posted by celestial
on 02/21 at 10:23 PM -
Yeah, he knows man. We all figured it out.
What do we look like, libtards?

This stupid fuck Dick Morris on Hannity and Colmes would agree with that article despite it’s being satire.