Thu, 15 Feb 2007 20:22:00
An open letter to various and sundry peoples and things
Don’t even read it, you’re going to hate me and think I’m talking about you. Which I probably am.
Dear Old Man Winter,
You're a real ass, you know that? Is the wind really necessary?
Dear People Who Shovel In The Middle Of A Snow Storm,
What are you, fucking idiots? When it snows and then freezing rains, DON'T SHOVEL DURING THE RAIN PART! You're just giving the freezing rain access to the sidewalk where it can become an ice hockey rink. Wait for the rain to stop and all that ice will come right up thanks to the snow underneath it. How long have you people lived in the Northeast and you need me to tell you this?
Dear Dixie Chicks,
You realize that half the albums never came out of the shrink wrap, right? And the "Academy" gave you a fistful of "Thanks for yelling at Bush" awards, right? Good. Just checking.
Dear Guy Who Invented truck testicles,
Cancer. Hope ya get it.
Dear Radical Feminists,
I'm speaking to you that believe in female supremacy, not regular women who understand that equality is the goal. You are much, much more obsessed with your vagina than we men are. I just wanted you to know that. You're also unable to discern between men not wanting to lose control and/or leadership roles with men not willing to give those roles to women. It's not about your vagina - it's about losing power, period. No, not that period. Fuck, is everything about your vag? Lastly, when you sling hate and vitriol at all men, you are equally as guilty as men who sling it at women. Turning yourself into an evil parody of a misogynist is never, ever going to get you anywhere. It is, in point of fact, counter-productive to your goal, unless your goal is to be a perpetual victim.
Dear Japan,
WHAT THE FUCK?
Why would she stop the whole song dead for a breakdown and sing "Udon is salty?" WHY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? AND WHERE ARE ALL THE PANDAS?
Dear Crippled Children,
God hates you. You're all broken because your mommies didn't love Him enough. True story!
Love,
me.
Man, that snow thing is gonna be controversial. The rest of these are obviously fine. *cough*
Posted by JimK at 08:22 PM on February 15, 2007
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Categories: Other, Personal, Things To Ponder
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#2 Posted by pomgrif 
on 02/16 at 03:52 AM -
The only thing you missed is the poor guy (friend)in Australia wearing a ?GERMAN?flagand a “shaped"isp cos he let people upload past his limit (8 days and counting lol)
#4 Posted by mgnmfrc1 
on 02/16 at 02:55 PM -
Need to get out more JimK? Yeah, the truck testicle thing is pretty fucking weak. I don’t want to drive behind grampa’s hanging scrotum all the way home from work.
I’m sure Natilie and Co. are singing LA LA LA LA LA LA LA with their fingers in their ears right now seeing as hardly a Country station will play them but they managed to win all them awards. No, we really don’t like you, the Grammy’s say as much nothing about you as Golden Globe awards do about the oscars.
#5 Posted by morganafq on 02/16 at 07:59 PM -
I don’t care what you say… I LOVE EE JUMP!!!
*runs and hides*
#6 Posted by JimK on 02/16 at 08:14 PM -
OK, I’m looking at Rann for this, because if you don’t know you must know someone who knows: where all the bootleg j-pop at? Donna actually wants this frigging album. God help me.
#7 Posted by Buzzion on 02/16 at 10:30 PM -
I don’t know how much wwe you still watch jim, but I just saw a promo for monday. Someone’s toupe’ is going away, either Vince McMahon or Donald Trump. Think it will happen?
#9 Posted by JimK on 02/16 at 10:57 PM -
Ugh. WWE...I gave up almost a year ago. I tried the new ECW for a bit then that sucked too.
Now, Freaking TNA is starting to suck. I HATE VINCE RUSSO AND VINCE MCMAHON.
#10 Posted by Buzzion on 02/16 at 11:20 PM -
Yeah I don’t watch it either except very sporadically, but I had USA on watching Law and Order and the promo was there.
#11 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 02/16 at 11:45 PM -
I dunno, I don’t really do J-pop that’s not connected to anime or sent to me by friends. I do not actively seek it out.
In fact, I don’t know that I DO know anyone that’s really into J-pop, but I’ll ask around.
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#1 Posted by ErikTheRed
on 02/15 at 09:37 PM -
I only hate that the Truck Testicles link isn’t more broken than it already is. Although that is doubly funny when you consider the medically proven inverse ratio between truck and penis size (there’s a special exemption for guys that actually use their trucks to haul large amounts of shit around on a regular basis).