Thu, 01 Mar 2007 21:53:00
American Idol Week 6 - Results and Elimination
BLAH.
Good Christ. Pickler is on tonight. “What’s a varginia, y’all? Some man jess offered me lahke, twenny dollerz to show him mah varginia.” I don’t like her.
- I already know the answer, but for the love of God why can’t this just be a half-hour show? Damn almighty dollar…
- WOW...I know I say this every episode, but sweet Mother Mary and the whore by the same name, Paula Abdul is crazy the fuck high tonight. Why is she so shiny? Why is she bouncing in her seat and clapping literally like a seal or a child who just got told that they don’t have to do nappy time, but instead gets to eat cupcakes all day? SO. HIGH.
- 32 million votes.
- Recap time. Holy Fast Forward Batman! This saves me like 10 minutes. Then the group song, so there’s another three or four gone. Commercials!
- I just realized how much less manscaped and metrosexual Seacrest is this year. No highlights? Less colors and more traditional sport coats and so forth. The fact that I noticed it at all does not speak well for my own hetero-ocity. Perhaps the fact that I was the guy who tried to get Pickler to show her varginia offsets this metro-ness?
- Phil Stacey - safe. Duh. Chris Sligh - safe. Also ah-duh. Sundance Head - safe. He earned it this week. Blake Lewis - safe. Jared Cotter - made to stand, but safe. Nick Pedro is going home. Yay! Donna and I both called him. And now I can fast forward through the song I didn’t like the first time. I will make this a half-hour show if it kills me!
- Ladies are up. Stephanie Edwards - safe. Gina Glocksen - she shouldn’t be safe, but...she’s safe. There goes Donna’s other female prediction. Sabrina Sloan - safe. Melinda Doolittle - so friggin’ safe. Alaina Alexander - going home! Heh. I done told your ass. You may not be ready to make nice, but neither are we. Plus you sucked. Bye! Donna and I both called her as well. Annnnnd - fast forward.
- Kellie Pickler. HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THOSE GIANT-ASS TITTIES COME FROM? Simon can barely contain himself.
Seacrest: “Have you uhh, spent your money on anything since you’ve left us?”
Pickler: “Shoes...yeah..imagine that.”
Seacrest: ”Just shoes?”
Nope. These, too:
OK, I heard maybe 90 seconds of her “Daddy/and or Momma you suck” song. She sounds nice and all...and I suppose that if you like this stuff, it’s as good as any other misery-based country song, but I just don’t identify. All I know is with those cans, she should do Playboy right before everyone forgets her name. Moving on.
- Chris Richardson - safe. Brandon Rogers - Safe. Donna loses that one. Sanjaya and AJ are left, and they stand. You know what? Either way we win. AJ goes home. Sanjaya skates through again. He looks truly surprised and dumbfounded! I really think he thought he was going home.
Paula said something weird about it being a singing competition and tonight doesn’t reflect that. Randy said he was surprised since AJ “blew it out.” See, the thing is, AJ weirded everyone out by doing a Nathan Lane impression and singing a Pussycat Dolls arrangement of the song. It was all a bit much. It was too camp, way too drag revue and not enough heartfelt singing. See ya.
- Ladies - Lakisha Jones - safe. Haley Scarnato - safe. Crap! Antonella Barba, Leslie Hunt and Jordin Parks are asked to stand. Antonella is safe - duh! VFTW in the hizzy. Jordin is obviously the safe one here. Aaaannnnd - Leslie goes home.
I was 2 for 2 on the ladies and 1 for 2 on the guys. Donna went 1 for 1 on both.
- When asked if the right people are going home, Simon laughed and said no, but this is American Idol. It’s the VFTW shit...Antonella has no business being here. Even Alaina did better than her last night. Sanjaya has no business being here. But Sanjaya has hair and Antonella has the backing of people who are deliberately trying to screw up the show. “You’ve got to vote for the people you want to see stay.” And we get the exit video, with the inappropriate Daughtry song that just doesn’t work at all here...and then we fast forward to the end and delete! All gone go bye bye.
STOP VOTING FOR ANTONELLA AND SANJAYA. Neither one can sing, and that is all that should really matter.
Posted by JimK at 09:53 PM on March 01, 2007
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Categories: Television, American Idol
Tags:
Technorati: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell
Alaina Alexander Antonella Barba Gina Glocksen Haley Scarnato Jordin Sparks Lakisha Jones Leslie Hunt Melinda Doolittle Sabrina Sloan Stephanie Edwards Chris Sligh Phil Stacey Jared Cotter AJ Tabaldo Sanjaya Malakar Brandon Rogers Sundance Head Chris Richardson Nick Pedro Blake Lewis
Comments:
#4 Posted by dakrat 
on 03/02 at 01:04 AM -
- Kellie Pickler. HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THOSE GIANT-ASS TITTIES COME FROM?
That’s what I was thinking.
Actually my exact thought was “Did you see the udders on that cow??!!”
Does she think she’s the next Dolly Parton? Dolly flushes more talent down the toilet everday than Pickler ever had.
#5 Posted by witchndigger on 03/02 at 10:08 AM -
The Pickler makes nice eye candy, but her hair....not. good. at. all.
#6 Posted by Grover on 03/02 at 12:58 PM -
Goddammit I loved Seacrest’s question to Pickler about spending money. The only thing that would have made it better would’ve been a sly look into the camera.
VFTW is freaking killing this show for me. I guess they are succeeding in their mission. BASTARDS!
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#1 Posted by Buzzion
on 03/02 at 12:07 AM -
Pickler looks orange to me. Not tan, orange