Tue, 27 Mar 2007 21:44:00
American Idol - The Top Ten perform
Get this...Gwen Stefani is the celebrity coach this week. Apparently Gwen put the smack down and refused to allow Sanjaya to sing a No Doubt song this week. The rumor is she flat out told him he couldn’t pull it off, and to pick something else.
Ouch.
I can’t wait to see that kid crack from the pressure of knowing how awful he is and yet still managing to stick around.
- Lakisha Jones - ”Last Dance” by Donna Summers. I’ll be honest, I really want to see LaKisha and Melinda branch out. Also, LaKisha looks frigging ridiculous. It looks like the 70s threw up on her.
She’s only tolerable performing this. I think her lisp is getting in the way. plus her confidence has fallen through the floor. Not even close to great. It was passable, but forgettable - save for that horrid dress.
Randy: “...like a true fly diva that was hot” No.
Paula: “You did her (Donna Summer) proud” No.
Simon: “Now you’re 30 years younger.” They all seem to like it. I thought it was dead.1-866-IDOLS-01
- Chris Sligh - ”Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by the Police. Gwen said Chris was all over the tempo...he has a serious problem with that, he’s always fast.
And he’s a quarter of a beat ahead of the band through the whole thing. His vocal is barely passable as good. It wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t good. Completely stale, he looked scared and it ended weird.
Randy: “Good song choice” “The band was at one tempo and you were in another tempo.” Chris basically said it was hard to sing, like a master’s class in theory.
Paula: same criticism.
Simon: “I thought it was a mess.” It was. “It just didn’t feel right and I don’t think it represented you.”1-866-IDOLS-02
- Gina Glocksen - ”I’ll Stand By You” by The Pretenders. Why the hell is she trying to sing Chrissy Hynde ? Wasn’t it bad enough when Alaina Alexander butchered Brass In Pocket? Do these girls never learn?
It starts OK, sort of, and then it devolves into typical Gina hackery. The first two lines were sang without pretension, simply sung the way the notes demand to be sung...and then in the third line, she put that fake weird “I’m Gina and I’m the rocker” affectation she does to vowel sounds, and it ruins what was a very nice moment. She’s a hack. She’s singing with a fake 80’s metal Brett Michaels accent, and that is an affectation. When she forgets to do it, she can sing like an angel. When she remembers, it ruins her performance.
That was really good karaoke.
Randy: “One of your best performances ever” - yeah, but that’s not saying much.
Paula: “Improving each week” Hey, Paula is lucid!
Simon: “It wasn’t one of your best performances, it was your best performance.” He called it the best of the night so far. Sadly, he’s right.1-866-IDOLS-03
Sanjaya is up next, and he had a Pebbles Flintstone puff on top of his head. I am not exaggerating.
Why not just wear a shirt that says “I like cock and cannot wait to be a stereotype as soon as I move away from mom & dad!?!?” Wouldn’t it be easier?
- Sanjaya Malakar - ”Bathwater” by No Doubt. Wow...looks like the rumor mill got this one all wrong, they had him pegged for a Maroon 5 song. Gwen could barely say anything nice about him. “Good luck with it.”
Well, can’t hear him well, so thank God for small favors. It’s the train wreck one would expect. Seems like he fumbled a lyric too. It was bad, but it wasn’t his personal worst. That’s not saying much...he’s easily the worst of the night so far. Good Christ he looks like a total and complete tool. It’s a series of Pebbles puffs forming a faux-hawk.
Randy: “What’s goin’ down man.” That’s not a good thing when Randy starts like that. “The hairdo is definitely interesting.” “You can sing if you would just put it out there.”
Paula: “To watch you on stage and not go for it we’re kinda like ‘come on.’”
Simon: “I don’t think it matters anymore what we say, you are in your own universe, people like you - good luck.”And lo and behold, looky what we just happened to pause on.
“My People?” To everyone who said it was racist to say that Indians were voting en masse for Sanjaya just because he’s Indian - fuck you. To everyone who said it was racist and ridiculous to think that Indian call centers would stack the lines for Sanjaya - fuck you. You can’t see it in my snap of the TV, but that is a brown hand holding that fucking race-based sign. So fuck all you jagoffs that threw around the word “racist.”
And fuck Sanjaya too. But not in the same way we want to fuck his extra hot sister.
1-866-IDOLS-04
- Haley Scarnato - ”True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper. This will be saccharine and syrupy and Disney. Gwen says she needs to lay off changing the melody.
Aaaannnd it’s pure schmaltz. SuperDisney. She looks great though. She sounds nice, sure, but there she goes beating the melody to bits...and in the course, stripping this song of all it’s real feeling and emotion. Just like Gwen warned her not to do. Nice voice. Good notes. Bad melody choice. Why can’t anyone just sing a fucking song
Randy: “I wasn’t jumping up and down about it, it was just allright for me”
Paula: “It’s a beautiful song that requires nothing other than just singing the melody.” She also called it “adult contemporary” instead of remaining young like the original, and holy shit, Paula Abdul is spot ON tonight! She seems lucid and she’s making excellent observations. Either she’s on new painkillers or she’s sober.
Simon: “I think it was sweet but forgettable.” Nothing to remember, really.” Well, her boobs. I’ll remember those.1-866-IDOLS-05
- Phil Stacey - ”Every Breath You Take” by the Police. Why is Phil wearing an old woman’s knitted cap? Gollum shouldn’t wear hats. Gwen says it was good, and he needs to stick to the melody.
Hey, it started OK...has he learned how to start a song? He’s doing a bit of a Sting impression right up until the second line of the chorus, then we hear Phil, then he drops back to Sting. Then the bridge hits and it’s Phil again. Weird. Not bad, just something he needs to be aware of. Not bad, really...this is one of his better performances. The hat has to go.
Randy: “I kinda liked that you didn’t push it you coulda pushed it more cuz you got that big old voice”
Paula: “so much color and personality when you hit the chorus, in the verses you play it safe...” Wow. Paula’s really on tonight.
Simon: “This may surprise you Phil, but I actually thought that was very good.”1-866-IDOLS-06
- Melinda Doolittle - ”Heaven Knows” by Donna Summers. Gwen likes her. “I’d say good luck but I don’t think you need it.”
OK, she’s turning it out as usual...but that frock/shirt dress thing...oh my LORD. Who dressed the big girl divas tonight, someone with a vendetta against them? Still, who gives a shit, she’s sangin this goddamned song. What else is new. This is her competition to lose, period. I can hardly believe this is the same girl from the auditions.
Randy: “You look at the words and you interpret the feelings...you are living the words and that’s what a real singer does” Yes...that’s the difference between her and almost everyone else. They are so concerned with cameras and marks and performing and what Simon is going to say, and Melinda seems concerned with the music.
Paula: “You tell a story from the very first word that comes out of your mouth.”
Simon: “Vocally you were, as usual, outstanding - hate the outfit.” Exactly.1-866-IDOLS-07
- Blake Lewis - ”Love Song” by the Cure. I love this song. I thought Jack Off Jill’s cover was as good a cover as could be done, but I also dig on Blake’s way of doing things, so…
It’s a slow reggae version. He’s staying - once again - with the vocal melody to maintain the soul of the song - and yet the instrumentation is fresh and new. It’s understated, soft...quite nice, actually. It’s the exact opposite emotion from the way JOJ covered it - JOJ went for the pure anger inherent in the song. Blake went for the meloncholy and longing and I personally think he nailed it. No beatboxing either, because quite frankly it wouldn’t fit. I liked that a lot.
Randy: “Song choice I didn’t love...I wasn’t jumping up and down but I liked it.” They really don’t get him, do they?
Paula: “I loved what you did with the song I though it was so cool...you’re taking risks and making it original.” Agreed.
Simon: “Definitely the strongest guy in the competition.” “You’re in this Chris Daughtry zone where you’re doing your own thing and you’ve gotta be careful not to become too indulgent and as Randy said it was a bit boring.” Bullshit. Simon doesn’t get him. Period. Amazing that Paula does. “It’s a matter of taste” Apparently so.1-866-IDOLS-08
- Jordin Sparks - ”Hey Baby” by No Doubt. WTF? Why did this song start with the exact laser noise from The Steve Miller Band? Weird.
She’s nervous and not projecting the verse at all. As soon as she starts to strut her voice opens up a bit but I’m not really digging this. I get the distinct impression she’s scared shitless. I couldn’t point to anything that says ‘She screwed up here” but the overall impression was pretty flat. It wasn’t like a yo-factor performance, to paraphrase The Dawg.
Randy: “You could literally sing anything...that was brilliant.” OK.
Paula: Something about her youth.
Simon: “A bit copycattish” Yeah, but it has to be.1-866-IDOLS-09
- Chris Richardson - ”Don’t Speak” by No Doubt. “I’ve seen Chris on the show before, and I know he likes to do this kind of vocal Olympics thing and I don’t think the siong needs it.” Of course it doesn’t, it need plaintive, desperate wailing of solid, whole notes. Not Chris’ strong suit.
Timberfake all UP in this bitch! My God, does he study and practice to try to be the best Justin Timberlake clone he can be? See also: sucking the emotion out of the song. Wow. Flat. Boring. Even when he opens up it’s boring. Pure karaoke.
Randy: “Not sure it was your best vocal, but I liked it” Feh.
Paula: “You’re good Chris, you’re good...just good.” She wants to fuck him.
Simon: “I wasn’t crazy about the vocal, it was OK in bits...you struggled in the middle of it” True.1-866-IDOLS-10
Bottom three predictions: Gina, Chris Sligh, and it should be Sanjaya, but thanks to Stern, VFTW and Indian call centers it won’t be him. Fucker. Probably Haley.
Donna says Chris Sligh, Haley and Sanjaya. We both think Sligh will be going home.
Posted by JimK at 09:44 PM on March 27, 2007
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Categories: Television, American Idol
Tags:
Technorati: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell
Gina Glocksen Haley Scarnato Blake Lewis Jordin Sparks Lakisha Jones Chris Sligh Chris Richardson Melinda Doolittle Phil Stacey Sanjaya Malakar
Comments:
#2 Posted by JimK 
on 03/28 at 11:19 AM -
Exactly - Melinda may be the best singer, but I like Blake the most I think. I’m always interested in what he;s going to do.
I think what I like the most is 1. he knows what to keep in every song - usually the vocal melody. and 2. He’s not just all about one musical style. He’s come up with at least three distinct remakes so far that weren’t basic hip-hop beats with an R&B;vocal, which is what most in his situation would do.
I think you’re right - he’s a musician not just a singer. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be the first Idol that I but their album hoping and expecting that it will be good.
The only other one I bought was Daughtry, and boy was that a let-down.
#3 Posted by Janna on 03/28 at 01:33 PM -
Being the country fan that I am, I bought Carrie Underwood’s album and I think that was good.
I also really like Blake. The things he does with songs is just COOL.
However, being an Arizona chick, I like Jordin too. I admit it, I vote for her. I think she can sing and cause she’s hometown she gets my vote :-)
sad, I know
#4 Posted by Grover on 03/28 at 01:39 PM -
In a bit of a cosmic coincidence after a shuffle of songs my mp3 player decided to begin my day with “Love Song” by The Cure as covered by....wait for it....311. Perhaps our little Blakey isn’t as original as we may have first thought.
#5 Posted by dakrat on 03/28 at 01:40 PM -
Blake’s my favorite as well. I hope he makes it far enough to get picked up by someone. He’s the only one I’d be interested enough in to actually buy his music.
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#1 Posted by Grover
on 03/28 at 10:48 AM -
Blake Lewis’ ability to take songs and arrange them in his own style reminds me of JD Fortune during Rockstar INXS. As with JD, every week I look forward to what Blake is going to do and how its going to turn out. He seems to be an actual musician not some high school choral geek who can sort of sing.