American Idol - The top 9 perform

Songs of Tony Bennett, which is basically just the American classics songbook...so I predict 2 great performances, 4 boring performances, 2 hack jobs and Sanjaya.

Blake Lewis - Mack The Knife.  Hmm.  I almost expected that.  Tony wants him to slow it down and he’s dismissing Blake’s “contemporariness.” That can’t possibly be a word.  I think Tony’s simply too old school to dig Blake.  I mean, Tony built the school and got old in it - and that;s a good thing, I don’t mean to criticize.

Blake seems to have decided to do EXACTLY what Tony suggested.  Just a straight, energetic, hot performance of a traditional song, done exactly like one of the rat pack would have done it back in the day.  Heh.  Just when you think the kid’s only a beat-boxer or only wants to mess with tracks - he brings it old school.  I actually think he’s got a shot at winning this thing.

The crowd won’t stop cheering and let Randy talk.  Heh.

Randy: “You’re kinda a funky jazzy cool kinda guy - I liked it”
Paula: “You’re just cool”
Simon: “Good choice of song...I’ll give you 7 out of 10, the band 8 out of 10” Not fair...he was better than that shit band.

1-866-IDOLS-01

Phil Stacey - Night and Day.  Tony is his idol.  Tony says he’s a great singer...yeah, but he flubs it every week (mostly).

It starts weak.  Well...I suppose it’s nice.  Ahh...he opens up a bit halfway through and it’s better, but ultimately I feel like I just watch a ballroom scene in a movie where they couldn’t afford to hire Harry Connick Jr. to play the band leader/singer, so they got someone off the C list and chopped the scene short.  Ultimately he’s forgettable...in every way.

Randy: “Check it out dog it was an interesting choice ... I just didn’t feel any connection, any passion...disconnected”
Paula: “Reminiscent of a young Frank Sinatra.” Simon: “WHAT?” Randy “Huh?” Exactly.  He’s not a young Frank.  He’s a young guy doing Sinatra material at karaoke night.  “have more joy and warm those vocals up.”
Simon: “Which Frank Sinatra are you referring to.  Seriously.” yeah no shit.  “I think it had all the joy of somebody singing in a funeral parlor.” “Completely and utterly gloomy.” Randy agreed with that.

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Melinda Doolittle - I’ve Got Rhythm.  Tony called her the best singer all day.

OK, the song is as expected...sung well, sold perfectly, on key...great as expected.  What the hell is that hairdo?  She looks like Jared Leto did her hair last week and she hasn’t washed it since.  Yuck.  The song, however...I mean come ON already!  She’s just the frigging winner, sorry Blake.  She’s got it.  Oh, and the band still sucks but the horn section was hot.

Donna: “Shouldn’t everyone else just go home?  I mean what’s the point anymore?” There kinda isn’t one.  Why didn’t they put that on last?

Randy: “You come out here every week and you give everyone here a lesson in singing...you interpret the lyric...she sings with the feeling that the lyric portrays...this is how you do it right here.” Perfect and exactly correct.  Every word that Randy said was 100% accurate and true.
Paula: “You’re like a master class for everyone else to watch.”
Simon: “I didn’t like the first half, I thought it was a bit cabaret.” “I liked the second half of the song, it was personality and fun.” “I don’t think we’re ever going to be able to criticize you.  This is a problem!”

1-866-IDOLS-03

Chris Richardson - Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.  He’s never heard the song before and had trouble with the lyrics…

Ohh boy...Timberfake tries a whole silhouetted beginning with a spin, and he warbled the open.  A few lines in and so far he hasn’t added any extra notes, and the weaknesses in his voice are clear when he sings straight.  He can’t hold single, clear notes.  His voice is weak and that’s why he sings runs.

Randy: “You came out there with a vengeance...one of your best performances of the season.” WTF?  He said Chris made it hip and cool?  WTF?
Paula: Basically said the same thing.
Simon: “I thought that was very good actually, and I actually agree with what Randy and Paula said.  One of the strongest tonight.” DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF?  Is the sound in the arena that much different than what we heard on the television?  Feh. 

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Jordin Sparks - On A Clear Day.  Tony: “She sang very much in tune which is very rare these days.” Heh.

Pretty good.  And then....DAAAAAMN!  She ended it so hot.  She held that note forever.  Very very nice.  Definitely the only female that comes close to Melinda.

Randy: “We got some heat up here...that was the bomb”
Paula: “I’m just so frickin’ proud of you I don’t know what to say”
Simon: “You sang it very well...but it was old fashioned and traditional” Yeah, but it was great.  Sometimes traditional works.

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Gina Glocksen - Smile.  Oh my GOD...no.  No.  She’s going to beat this song up like it was a Russian trying to end her boxing career.  When discussing the feelings behind “Smile,” Tony said these days when he sings it he thinks of 9/11 and the soldiers in Iraq and he teared up a little when he said it.  Aww…

What.  The.  Fuck.  Is.  That.  Hair?  It’s...boring.  It wasn’t awful.  Just...boring.  She didn’t do that weird vocal vowel Gina thing she usually does, so that was nice.

Randy: “That was a very nice, controlled performance from the rocker girl.”
Paula: “Flawless performance”
Simon: “I can’t rave about the vocal...because two girls came out before you and out-sang you.” Yeah, pretty much.  Another forgettable performance.

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Sanjaya Malakar - Dancing Cheek to Cheek Oh dear god.  “My goal this week is to make America see that I can actually sing.” Yeah...not so much.

Why is he dressed like Tony Manero for a goddamned swing classic?  Does he not realize that Diana Ross was a few weeks ago?  Tard.  The nicest thing I can say about this is that for 75% of it he’s been in tune.  Oh fuck...now he’s dancing with Paula and his vocal is getting more and more dead.  He goes flat as soon as he stops paying attention with his whole being.

Is he wearing saddle shoes?  Is he even a fucking male?  This might be his best yet

Randy: “I can’t even comment on the vocals anymore, whatever.” HAHAHAHAHA...oh that’s great.  Looking for something nice to say, Randy said “You’ve turned into a great entertainer.”
Paula: “You’re charming...Vocals were a little off”
Simon: “Let’s try a different tactic this week.” Randy” “Yeah what are you gonna say?” Simon: “Incredible!” HAHAHA, oh Simon hates him so much.  I feel your pain, my smarmy British friend.  Sanjaya thanked him.  “Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya!” Yeah, where your hot sister who can sing has to sit and watch your pathetic ass fuck up the show.

1-866-IDOLS-07

Haley Scarnato - Ain’t Misbehavin’.  She’s playing it smart lately - showing off the legs and the cans.  She needs to have soul and a sense of youth. sexiness and fun for this song - none of which she actually has...hot dress with no bra aside, this girl acts like a post-menopausal soccer mom and that won’t sell this track.

She’s started on her knees.  Again, a smart play but it feels forced, as does her “playfulness.” She’s trying SO hard to make me see her as a sex kitten doing a torch number - and that big ending?  It Disney’d up the song when it should have ended soft and slinky.  Too many people think you need to over-sing every ending.  Control is as important as power.  She seems to have hit all the notes though...certainly others deserve to go before her.

Randy: Said nothing about the performance.  Threw it to Paula
Paula: Said nothing about the performance.  Threw it to Simon
Simon: “I think you’ve got great legs.” “It was a little bit pageant-y I thought.” Yes, that’s it...not Disney, but “pageant-y.”

1-866-IDOLS-08

Lakisha Jones - Stormy Weather.  She tried to add a lyric from another song during practice with Tony...he’s all “Just do the song the way it’s written.” So right.  This isn’t Led Zeppelin for fuck’s sake where during the 32 minutes blues interlude Robert Plant just starts singing random lines from random blues songs.  Just sing the god-damned song!

Was that three bad notes right at the beginning?  Wow.  LaKisha is not as good as I once thought.  It’s...campy.  Full of bad notes.  It’s too big.  And then she drops the frigging lyric in anyway.  Not only is she adding lyrics from a Marvin Gaye (among others) song, she changed the god-damned gender to make it work coming out of her mouth...after one of the greatest singers to ever live told her it was specifically and exactly a mistake to do so.

Donna makes a good point - by adding that lyric, she ended on 5 seconds of silence while the band finished instead of ending on that big note.

I did not enjoy that.

Randy: “Perfect song for you, little pitchy in the beginning” he said she pulled it out in the end
Paula: Talked about her dress and loving Tony Bennet.
Simon: “Back on form, sassy great performance” Wait till he sees the playback.

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Bottom three predictions

Jim: Phil, Gina and once again it should be Sanjaya but it won’t be.  Haley will be the third Phil to get the boot or maybe Haley, but probably Phil.

Donna: Phil, Gina. Haley.  Also thinks it should be Sanjaya instead of Haley.  Phil to get the boot.

Posted by JimK at 08:48 PM on April 03, 2007
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Technorati: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell Gina Glocksen Haley Scarnato Blake Lewis Jordin Sparks Lakisha Jones Chris Richardson Melinda Doolittle Phil Stacey Sanjaya Malakar

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