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Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:43:00

A mass “what the eff?” to all three of these

I was going to make individual posts, but...I mean, all three posts would essentially say the same thing.  So instead, they get grouped together.

hello kitty vibrator

1. Hello Kitty pocket vibrators.  Dear Japanese People, What the eff?  And why do I have to buy the whole set? Yours, A Confused American.

2. Jack Thompson can’t separate fictional parody from reality, and thinks that Rockstar Games is actually threatening his real-world life based off one of the missions in GTA4.  Dear Jack Thompson, You are a complete cockhole and I wish you would die of a heart attack caused by being in a big fire that consumed all of your written work to date and killed your whole family just in case what is wrong with you is passed on genetically.  Wait, was that too harsh?  Whatever.  Die in a fire.  Yours, A Gamer Who Doesn’t Really Want Your Family To Die, Just You.

3. 44 Blue Prods. has signed Chris Crocker to an actual deal, involving money.  Double-you tee eff.  OF course, the truth is I know just what the eff is, as I will be one of the millions of idiots watching this train wreck of a human being.  Dear 44 Blue Peoples, I’d like to be writing to say “Why are you doing this” but I saw the videos and I know he’s reality TV gold just waiting to be mined.  Please make sure to provide plenty of booze and coke, as it will make the breakdowns come faster and allow your production staff to capture a whole season’s worth of madness in like, four days.  Yours, A Guy That Stares At Accident Scenes

Posted by JimK at 02:43 PM on September 20, 2007
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Categories: EntertainmentGamingTelevisionHumor


mgnmfrc1#1  Posted by mgnmfrc1 United States on 09/20 at 05:08 PM -

1. Do we really need young girls with vibrators in their pockets?

2. Who?? I thought parodies were still legal under the first amendment. Stupid lawyer!

3.  OMFG! Please tell me which channel this will be on so I can remove it from my channel selection! FOREVER! UFB!

#2  Posted by ErikTheRed United States on 09/20 at 05:21 PM -

1. Umm… am I the only fucking person on the planet that appreciates the irony of having a vibrator with the name “Hello Kitty”?!?? In case I’m being too subtle, I’m using the word Kitty as a colloquialism for vagina. Also known as the pussy. “Hello Snatch” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

2. If Jack Thompson died in a fire, he’d be getting off entirely too easy. His family, on the other hand, would be “just right.” Take no chances with this gene set.

3. I had no idea who Chris Crocker was, and am poorer for having found out.

#3  Posted by Judas Canada on 09/21 at 02:37 AM -

As for 2), I may have missed the point.  Was this a joke?

I, for one, don’t think Thompson even bothered to consider whether he might be the actual basis for this character before he filed.  I doubt that the idea that he was a genuine target ever even occurred to him.  I think he saw this character, jumped for joy, and said “Yes!  15 more minutes of fame!” And undoubtedly, as he himself likely knows, he is about to have the law fed to him a la the Larry Flynt case.  Which is likely irrelevant to him, since it will continue to make him a martyr in the eyes of the faithful...and blessedly ignorant.  But at least the money will keep rolling in.

#4  Posted by Noblebrown United States on 09/21 at 11:54 AM -

Jack Thompson is a vile piece of crusading shit with absolutely no clue how the real world works.

Chris Crocker is an attention whoring little fruitcake. I guess that makes him perfect reality TV material. As if I didn’t already hate reality TV enough…

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