Mon, 15 Jan 2007 23:33:00
24 - Day 6, 8 Am - 10 AM
Hi. I’m Jack Bauer. You may know me from such phrases as “TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS!” and “The only reason you’re conscious right now is because I don’t feel like carrying you.” If you’ll kindly read the rest of this post after the jump, I’d like to explain to you how I spent the last two hours.
I should warn you; if you haven’t been following my activities today, then some events may be spoiled for you.
Of course you know how my day started...a long plane ride from China, a quick shave, steadying myself for execution, then a quick snack on some guy’s neck and it was off to chase terrorists again. My new partner, Dr. Julian Bashir, is a genetically enhanced genius from the future with a strange penchant for jumpsuits and women with spots. He’s a little bit country, and I’m a little bit rock & roll. We’re a counter-terrorism odd couple.
Wacky hijinks!
Anyway, after those first two hours I thought “Well this has certainly been a busy morning.” Little did I know that I would save a kid, protect a terrorist and shoot my good friend and fellow CSU agent in the throat, all before 10 AM! Man...I wonder if there’s a McDonalds here, I could still make breakfast if I hurry.
What the/// holy crap that’s a mushroom cloud. Chloe, this is Jack. Tell me that nuke did not just blow up the only McDonalds for ten miles! CHLOE I NEED A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN! JUST GET ME A ROUTE TO A SAUSAGE MCMUFFIN!
So that was my morning...running, playing referee between Assad and Curtis, getting reinstated as a CTU agent, puking after I was forced to gun Curtis down to protect a murdering piece of terrorist garbage - yeah, I know he’s all Peace Dude now, but just you wait, three drinks and he’ll be all “HALALALALALA! FOR GREAT JUSTICE I STRIKE AT THEE!” and trying to cut off my head with a letter opener while he streams the whole thing to his MySpace.
Anyway, my morning just culminated in a realization - I’m Jack Fucking Bauer, and those goddamned fanatics just tried to blow up Los Angeles. I’m’a fuck somebody up over this shit. Any minute now Bill is gonna call me and tell me there are four more suitcase nukes, and I will be GOD-damned straight to hell if I let them blow up an In-And-Out Burger. If I miss breakfast, I’m getting a fucking double double animal style and no frigging jerkoff named Ahmed or Mahmoud or Hassan is going to stop me.
Unless he’s working the drive through and has a really bad accent. Then I’ll be forced to smash through the building, shoot him in the face and make my own damned double double. I can fry an onion like nobody’s business. I’m Jack Fucking Bauer.
Posted by JimK at 11:33 PM on January 15, 2007
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Comments:
#2 Posted by Mazz 
on 01/16 at 01:18 PM -
The shark has been jumped.
The writers seemed to have just given up. There’s no way they will keep continuty on future seasons.
Jack should be blind for looking at the blast.
For being that close to the crappy FX, jack should also be dead from the shock wave.
There’s also no way his cell should work now, the EMP will take that out.
There’s 4 more out there? Less than 1/2 day to search all of America?
This day is over.
Watch it be a dream sequence.
#3 Posted by Buzzion on 01/16 at 01:42 PM -
I don’t think he actually looked at the blast, he was still face down in the grass.
And only four hours have passed that means there’s 5/6 of a day to find them not less than half a day
#4 Posted by Joe R. 
on 01/16 at 10:41 PM -
What was the deal with Scott’s Dad? He just stood there and yelled “NOOOOO” as the dude set off the nuke. He could have at least tried to rip the dude’s throat out with his teeth or something.
#5 Posted by Buzzion on 01/18 at 12:27 AM -
WE HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN WE’RE DOING AND WE HAVE TO DO IT FASTER!!
#6 Posted by Janna on 01/21 at 01:50 PM -
mmmm...Double double animal style!
That makes me hungry, and there is an In-N-Out by my parents house...but I’m on a diet.
Now, as for the show, I was kinda suprised Jack was not almost vaporized after seeing teh loverly mushroom cloud. Shouldn’t he have had some sort of damage? I mean how far away was he supposed to have been?
He should have some residual effects from the blast.
I know the show has never been about “reality” per se but this is really stretching it for me.
#7 Posted by Drumwaster on 01/21 at 05:11 PM -
At the range implied, he would sure as hell have a 2nd-degree sunburn, and his clothes would have likely caught fire, even if it was just a pony nuke (aka, Hiroshima-sized 10-12kt)
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Holy Shit though.
I think this season is going to be a lot darker. So far, there’s been a lot of focus on what might happen if terrorism started to pick up some serious steam, and manifest itself inside our country more and more. In the show, the country is tearing itself apart. People flipping out at the nearest brown person they see, sending every male muslim to a camp.
That’s why I alway supported going to war to put a stop to the problem - because if you think the PATRIOT Act is bad, just see what happens if there are more majore attacks in this country, or a sustained wave of smaller attacks.
Someone made a good point to me several years ago, that a lot of the damage done by suicide bombings is the aftermath. It scares the shit out of everyone who wasn’t on the bus.
I think the show will focus even more on the populations going nuts. A nuke just went off… A NUKE. What’s more, I bet the press catches wind of there being 4 more at some point. Big shitstorm.