Mon, 12 Feb 2007 23:54:00
24 - Day 6, 1 PM - 3PM
Random observations that will make no sense unless you watched the show. The following takes place between the time we pushed play and the end of the show.
Bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep...Spoilers below!
- Ding Dong, CancerHead from The X-Files is dead! I’ll miss Leonard Betts.
- Chloe watched Edgar die horribly in front of her eyes and totally did her job perfectly. Right Said Fred gets kidnapped and she falls to pieces? He’s still alive, obviously, and SuperJack is on the scene, what’s to worry about? Jack will leap from the helicopter, land on the roof of the car, peel it back like a sardine can and lift Right Said Fred out with one hand while he shoots the driver with the other.
Don’t you people watch this show?
- Love the orchestra music as SuperJack jumps off the roof onto some cars and then to the ground. I suppose he couldn’t leap out of the chopper due to headwinds or something. Or they lost them because that’s how we get tension and excitement.
- I know it’s tradition to hire ethnic actors to play ethnicities that are not their own, but Christ, Fayed looks Greek and sounds like an idiot with that badly-faked accent.
- Holy crap, Blondie just ganked “Guy who was supposed to be Eddie Izzard.” She crazy shot him in the head so she can get the seven mil. Dirty greedy whore. Right Said needs to put deh smoove mooves on her and turn her head. Surely she’ll fall for that deep voice and dry British wit.
- Aww, widdle Tommy’s upsettie! Are we gonna get another coup storyline? Again? Really? Looks like Rob Lowe Light is in on some kind of assassination plan.
What’s with all the second-rates on the show this year? Chad Lowe, Eric Balfour, even DB Woodside is acting like a chump and not just because his character is a weak version of David Palmer.
- Right Said Fred meets the Greek terrorist and obviously they have somehting in common right away.
“So, what do you use to shave your head?”
“So, pig’s feces then?”
“Seriously, how do you get it so smooth? Mine is bloody stubbly no matter what I try.”
- LET. CHLOE. DO. IT. Always let Chloe do it. It doesn’t matter what it is, if it involves a computer, then let Chloe do it.
- Julian Bashir matches his superior genetically engineered brain against David Palmer Junior. I know who I’m’a bet on in this horse race.
- Bad guy has taken up hiding in an apartment building. He knows that CTU has satellites and helicopters. So what does he do? He puts armed snipers in plain view on the roof. RIiiiiight.
- OK, drilling through a dude’s shoulder with a frigging power drill is frigging harsh. That’s fucked up. mad props to Right Said for resisting as long as he did. I’d have offered to give Fayed a reach around as soon as he slapped me the first time. But then, I’m no Jack Bauer.
- Why the flying fuck can’t The Buscuit write his own letter of resignation?
- 20 bucks says Right Said planted something somehow that will help Jack. He cross-transmuglated the frippledoff capacitor so it broadcast a burst of tachyon particles that could be traced with the Enterprise’s deflector array or some shit.
- Man they are loving this “blow a whole in the wall instead of the door” thing on 24, aren’t they?
- Jack is about to disable a nuclear weapon with a multi-tool and maybe a little urine. And a credit card. You just watch.
- Chloe is, of course, a bomb disposal expert. She’s talking jack through this, and then later she’ll talk him through making Beef Wellington with a lighter and meat from one of the terrorist’s thigh.
- Or, maybe Right Said just did exactly what we saw and helped a terrorist. Oh well. I was giving him some of that Jack Bauer nobility-in-the-face-of-certain-death credit. My bad.
- The Biscuit just committed treason. Hey, there’s a surprise. Another plot against the President that involves the people closest to him, with the highest security clearances IN THE WORLD. Shark jump scene in 3...2...1...I know I once said 24 can’t jump the shark. Allow me to rephrase. 24 consistently and repeatedly jumps the shark so often that it’s no longer really noticeable unless you, you know, insist on blogging about the god-damned show every time it;s on and need things to write about other than jack’s phone and bottomless bladder.
- Are you telling me that the big bad guy really IS a fucking Russian general and not Middle Eastern terrorists? AGAIN? Fayed is reporting...not working with, but reporting to, this Russian fuck? They copped out again on the whole Middle Eastern/Muslim terrorist thing? And look! There’s that shark again. Once again, the bad guy is an Eastern European with an as-yet-undetermined motive. If it turns out that Jack killed his son in Bosnia or some shit I swear to fucking Christ I will set off a nuke my damn self.
- Chloe & Jack:
“I’m really glad Fayed didn’t kill you this morning”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jesus CHRIST will you two fuck already?
- Babe, don’t trust that farmer, he’s going to kill you for your delicious flesh!
- Do you think Jack knows his brother is made of cancer and can’t die?
- OK, it really is kind of silly that they are having what amounts to an interrogation over Graem’s body.
- Stupid thing number 234523 this season - Morris gets drilled through the shoulder with a 5/16’s boring bit like, 20 minutes ago. When the camera was watching his through the glass, HE WAS MOVING THAT ARM. CTU must have some god-damned great nurses. He should be unconscious from the massive amounts of morphine it would require for him just to stop screaming as he inhaled.
- Stupid thing number 234524 this season - BauerDad calls one of the bad guys from inside the concrete bunker that is CTU with his cell. Fine, we know that on CTU all cell phones work perfectly unless the script requires them to fail. But are you telling me that CTU, the place that should be more secure than the bunker at the White House given all the infiltrations and attacks on this specific office, allows civilian cell phones to work inside the building and, on top of that, they don’t trace and record every call made into or out of the building? That’s...just ridiculous.
- Bauer is going to take responsibility for killing Graem. Ahh-DUH! He’s Jack. He always takes responsibility. Just change the report and don’t tell him you did it, Bill.
- Julian Bashir just warned Captain Sisko that Gul Dukat is will be coming after him. Call Odo! He can shapeshit, that has to be be useful. Or we could get Kira to kick someone’s ass. She’s the Jack Bauer of space.
- I get the feeling The Biscuit is stringing Chad Lowe along for information.
- “He’s taking is very hard, he loved his father very much.” Umm...you mean he loved Jack? Really? BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW JACK IS HIS FATHER, LADY. And since when did you leave Nathan Petrelli and gain the ability to walk?
- Graem is involved in an international plot to assassinate a president and commit acts of terrorism, ostensibly for profit. But he’s so careless meeting with Gredenko that he doesn’t notice his totally amateur wife following him one night to a meeting? Why, hello Mr. Shark! Nice to see you again!
- Wifey is gonna leave Jack’s kid with Zephram Cochrane, who is guaranteed to kidnap the kid and use him a shield later when Jack finally figures out that his daddy is one of the bad guys. Wifey will tell Jack that the kid is his moments before Jack has to stage a one-man rescue running against the clock, which will be counting down because the President will have ordered an airstrike against the church/hospital/orphanage in which they are holed up.
- Mystery Dark Haired Conspiracist Guy is the guy that BauerDad called. He is the same guy that teh former Mr. Hillary Swank (Chad Lowe) called. Mystery Dark Haired Conspiracist Guy called BauerDad “sir.” Who wants to bet that Gredenko calls him sir, or is at least deferential to BauerDad? BauerDad will be The Big Boss. Not Muslim terrorists or even Eastern Europeans out for revenge.
- Wifey wants some JackCock in a bad way. I mean, all women obviously want some, but she’s in proximity to it, so the pull to put it in her mouth must be enormous.
- Pops is about to drop the fact that he’s the bad guy to Wifey. Hey, who called that one? Let me review - Oh yeah, me.
- 9407 Hindry Place. QUICK! Run to the corner store and play 9407, 2 dollar box and straight for tomorrow.
- A bomb goes off in LA, and traffic is like, non-existent. Apparently the entire city was able to evacuate in the last two hours.
- Re: Right Said Fred being back on duty - HIS FUCKING ARM SHOULD NOT WORK. Also, when was he debriefed? He was kidnapped, tortured, and aided the enemy. He should be in debriefing for like a week.
- Re: Jack going to Hindry Place:
- I hope Jack busts in and it;s an old couple doin’ it. That would RULE and the show could use some levity right now.
- Damn, it was a bomb. I guess Jack never saw Speed. Of course the team is dead and Jack jumped out the window to relative safety.
- Milo is driving that box van like it’s Jeff Gordon’s #24 Pepsi car at Talladega. Go Milo, it’s yer birthday...I love this show. All computer geeks turn out to be excellent field agents.
Damn, that was...a lot of 24. At least it was almost all action. Much better than when 24 tries to emulate “The OC.”