Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:19:00
24 - Day 6, 11 Am - 12 PM
My name is Special Agent Jack Bauer. About two hours ago, terrorists set off a nuclear weapon just outside Los Angeles. There are four more just like it still loose in the city. I’ve been reinstated to CTU, my cell phone’s perpetual motion machine battery is working, and I don’t have to pee.
Look, I know you have information about tonight’s show. I don’t have time to ask you nicely, so I’m going to ask you just once. TELL ME WHERE THE SPOILERS ARE!
No? Fine. I’m going to get a lamp.
Random episode thoughts...I just don’t have the energy to do a long-assed recap. Think of this as a commentary track.
- *sigh* Wayne Palmer is about a 1/4 of the President his brother was.
- Yeah yeah yeah, Republicans are evil, I get it, writers. I get it. So very subtle, your White House policy scenes.
- I think Brotherman is still lying to Jack. Plastic bag torture probably only got him half the truth. He should have put a knife to his eyeball.
- Guess how super-techies track you when you’re a terrorist trying to escape fallout? With special satellites that can sense when you have radiation sensors in your vehicle
- Oh, hey, they aren’t far from 90210...must be why I’m getting all this Dad/Jack/Graem bullshit.
- The guy that was probably supposed to be Eddie Izzard’s part and his Czech Republic-looking girl are boring me too. MORE JACK BEATING ON PEOPLE PLEASE.
- Why the government hatin’ on the super-hot Arabic woman? Are they TRYING to ruin our chances to impress and import more extremely attractive Middle Eastern women who don’t wanna dress in sacks? In all seriousness, that is pretty stupid. If they think she’s a possible threat, what the frig is she doing at this job in the first place?
- Dear Milo, You are not qualified to hold Skeet Ulrich’s jock, you wannabe motherfucker. Shave that shit on your face too, bitch.
- I want to punch the President’s sister almost as much as I wanted to beat Sherry Palmer with a shovel. I actually want to see violence done to her...it;s the tone in her voice, it’s like she’s never considered for a moment that she doesn’t have to be a raging bitch every moment of every day in order to ask questions or make a point.
- *sigh* More retarded blackmail that wouldn’t mean shit will force the only voice of reason in the White House to back down, thereby allowing the evil Cheney wannabe to get his way.
Let’s break this down. Karen is the only person capable of getting Wayne Palmer to listen to reason - she absolutely has to stop Assholeboy (The Biscuit is EVIL!) from essentially usurping the President and declaring it “Hunt Brown People Day.”
So, because The Biscuit has the fact that once, over a year ago, CTU had Fayed in custody along with 20 or so other guys, and nothing for which to hold them...and Bill Buchanan let them go - and Karen is married to Bill - She’s going to leave the fucking President’s side rather than let Bill go down? Bill wouldn’t go down for this in the first fuck place, but let’s say that he would. SO WHAT?!?! What’s more important, the person running CTU Los Angeles, or preventing this guy who would wipe his ass with the COnstitution from getting Wayne Palmer’s ear? Wayne’s a puppet...why let The Biscuit be the puppetmaster just to save Bill’s job?
It’s fucking stupid. The threat itself is stupid. Karen should be laughing in Tom’s face right now and walking away.
By the way, the guy playing Tom Lennox, the evil White House guy, played John Cage in Ally McBeal, and his nickname was ‘The Biscuit.” hence my calling him that...which may stick now that I think about it.
- And of course the stupid bitch does it. Utterly ridiculous. More ridiculous than Jack staring at a nuclear explosion. And the Biscuit for the win!
- Dear Producers, We watch this show to see Jack Bauer kicking the shit out of people. Either give us some of that or go home. I can watch a soap opera for interpersonal bullshit. More Jack Bauer please.
- SHUT THE PRESIDENT’S SISTER UP I SWEAR TO GOD SHUT HER UP BEFORE MY EARS EXPLODE SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
- OH MY GOD 24 JUST PULLED A ”The Net” ON TV. Holy shit. The floating death head thing gets her into some secret webpage on a dude’s cell phone. Wow.
- SHUT THE PRESIDENT’S SISTER UP I SWEAR TO GOD SHUT HER UP BEFORE MY EARS EXPLODE SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
- Turns out none of the dudes in the detention camp are terrorists. Then of course conveniently, as the prisoners start to riot over Whalid and beat him mostly to death for ganking that phone, no guards are in sight. Every other time they have showed this detention camp, guards are like, 1.37 milliseconds from any given prisoner. That was some pro wrestling level bullshit writing right there. They do that shit all the time in wrestling: two guys beat the shit out of each other and security is nowhere to be found, and then when they want you to buy a PPV and need to generate interest in a fight...miraculously on the free TV show, security is there to break up every fight almost before it starts. Is 24 getting so weak they are resorting to pro wrestling writers for ideas?
Also, please note that last week, I had far fewer complaints about this stuff. Why? THERE WAS MORE JACK BAUER LAST WEEK. More Jack = easier to suspend disbelief. Jack is a superhero at this point - unless you keep him front and center, the cracks in the facade start to show.
- In regards to Jack and Brotherman going to this building together? Hey Jack!
He’s Bluetooth Guy, Jack. He wanted you dead.
- “Are you beating on my son? That’ll do, boys. That’ll do.” Get it? See, Jack’s dad was the dude that played the farmer in Babe...oh never mind. It was weak, I’ll admit it.
- Graem is such a spoiled little whiny fucking shit. Of course he turned on Pops and Jack. Who didn’t see that coming in like, 1983? I mean Good Lord, people, he’s Bluetooth Guy!
More Jack next week or I will...I will...Oh fuck you, Fox, you know I’ll be watching. Eat my ass, you jerks.
Posted by JimK at 12:19 AM on January 30, 2007
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Comments:
#2 Posted by JimK 
on 01/30 at 01:49 AM -
HA! I’ll always think of him as either the dude from Babe, Zephram or Lewis Skolnik’s dad.
#3 Posted by Boxing Canadian 
on 01/30 at 02:22 AM -
It’s a trap!
Had me in stitches.
I found the situation with the guards to be a bit hard to believe as well. The writers need to try a lot harder. Plus, not enough Jack for me tonight.
Good to see Zephram isn’t with Bluetooth but I am amazed at all the former Trek people who make guest spots on this show.
There’s Bashir, Zephram, Kassidy Yates was Sherri Palmer, Ro Laren was in Season 2 until she got pushed down the stairs. Wonder if we’ll see Patrick Stewart guest starring as the head of MI5?
#4 Posted by witchndigger on 01/30 at 11:30 AM -
“Are you beating on my son? That’ll do, boys. That’ll do.” Get it? See, Jack’s dad was the dude that played the farmer in Babe...oh never mind. It was weak, I’ll admit it.
Screw that man. He’s Zephram Cochrane. Inventor of the Warp drive. Stick to the Star Trek references. Clearly he and Bashir have gone back in time to correct history. :P
He was the president in Sum of all Fears. A nuke goes off in that movie. Better connection than Babe the pig and Star Trek.
on 01/31 at 02:36 AM - 
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#1 Posted by Buzzion
on 01/30 at 01:35 AM -
Screw that man. He’s Zephram Cochrane. Inventor of the Warp drive. Stick to the Star Trek references. Clearly he and Bashir have gone back in time to correct history. :P