Thursday, April 17, 2008
Oh my GOD - Iron man game trailer
DUDE. I love me some Iron Man, and moments before I watched this trailer I said to my wife “My chief complaint with the Iron Man from the last Marvel game was he flew, but slowly.”
Yeah, not so slow now.
That is almost as awesome-looking as the movie trailers. This summer/fall is shaping up to be almost as great for games as last fall-through-Christmas was. I’m going to be obsessively trying to finish GTA4 just to get to Iron Man now. ;)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Things I meant to post over the last week
1. The Swayze is responding well to treatment. Go Swayze. It’s time to not be nice to that cancer.
2. Bret and the girls wrecked the house they were staying in, and VH1 didn’t bother to buy the promised insurance. Gee, what a surprise. VH1 is an irresponsible organization and those whores have about as much respect for property as they do for themselves. Oh and Bret Michaels is a douchebag.
3. Is PC gaming dead? Hell yes it is. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: PC gaming is a never-ending cycle of upgrades and driver problems. Every two or three years, the latest and greatest game will require a new graphics card. The high end is always brutal, cost-wise. $500 bucks. A really good latest-gen upper midrange card goes about $200-$250. Budget cards worth buying are $175.
On the off years when you aren’t upgrading video cards, you need to upgrade your CPU to keep up with the video card you plan to get next year. And every so often you’ll need a new motherboard. And fans will burn out. Power supplies go bad. Your entire PC will be replaced a part at a time over a three-to-five year lifespan, and while you can build a rig for a grand, if you want a good rig you’ll be spending about two grand. Or just buy a whole new rig every three years. For $2000.
OR...you could buy an Xbox 360 for $250-$400 (depending on the model) and be done with it. Add in a second controller and a year of Xbox Live and you still can’t break $700. Done and dusted. The games rock. If online is your thing there is no better matchmaking right now than Live. It’s simple, easy, and like they always say about Macs, it just works. Except for the red rings of death. But they’re doing what they can to make good on those problems.
Maybe the PS3 is more your speed. Do it. It’s the best Blu-Ray player around right now, and you get to play MGS and SOCOM. I’m not dying for a PS3, but when we get an HD TV, I may look at it just for the movie capability. And SOCOM. :)
4. Brokeback Mountain is a shit film, regardless of its alleged social import. Rann nails the very exact thing that I complained about when I first saw it: These are two lying pieces of shit who destroyed their families because they were too cowardly to be who they were. The fact that they are gay is not a reason to justify that they are lying cheaters. They are not heroes, and the movie did nothing to frame gay people as normal in the minds of AJMG (Average Joe Movie Goer). Plus it was plodding, boring, an hour too long and slower than dial-up internet access. It was poorly directed and poorly edited. Fuck Brokeback Mountain.
Posted by JimK at 08:08 PM on April 11, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Gaming, Xbox 360, Celebridiots, Television, Rock Of Love, Rock Of Love 2, Technobabble (Technology)
Tags: gaming xbox 360 VH1 Rock of Love Reality TV Bret Michaels Poison 80s hair metal Patrick Swayze
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
So much stupid fun. Remember, multiple kills per shot.
*UPDATE* I stuck it below the jump because it autostarts, with audio, and that’s annoying. Sorry!
Monday, January 14, 2008
10 reasons why Kevin McCullough is a liar *UPDATED* (with a correction)
I don't know why Kevin McCullough felt the need to lie so much in this "article" about Mass Effect, but lie he did. Michael Moore would be ashamed of being this much of a liar. For the record, I played Mass Effect through twice and did every mission and talked to every character. I covered every square inch of that game and I played once as a male and once as a female. I know of what I speak, unlike Kevin McCullough, who clearly never played the game, and is a liar.
the new video game that one company is marketing to fifteen year old boys.
LIE NUMBER ONE. This game is rated M, 17 and older. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived.
LIES 2 AND 3. XBox 360 players are not universally male, and there is no realistic sex whatsoever. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to "engage"
LIE NUMBER 4. You can ONLY manipulate the face, hair and sex. There is NO mechanism in the game to allow for form, bodies or breast size adjustment. Your character is male or female, with skin, eyes, nose, mouth, cheek, hair and skull adjustments ONLY. Your character is also wearing either grey fatigues or a full suit of armor for almost every single moment of the game save for a two-minute barely-suggestive "sex" scene, which you can see here (requires Flash).
and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.
LIE NUMBER 5, and maybe the biggest one yet. This is a scene barely more suggestive that what is on daytime TV. The ONLY possible combinations are between a male character and a blue alien girl, or a female character and a blue alien girl. That's it. The rest of this crap was made up in Kevin's fertile (and apparently deviant) imagination. Oh what the hell...LIE NUMBER 6: My monitor is only 19 inches. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
Then there's the dishonesty behind the game' title. "Mass Effect" sounds like a war game with a deadly virus that is spreading unless the GI-Joes are able to defeat the evil and deadly substance and it's covert war plan.
LIE NUMBER 7: It's named for the physics, dumbass.
If a pre-teen, teen, young adult, or adult male plays such a game in which the women DO submit without choice, are made to appear as Barbie streetwalkers, and perform whatever act can be imagined,
LIE NUMBER 8. It's not a bold-faced lie, but the implication is that Mass Effect is such a game. It is not. The female characters in the game run the gamut from "companion" to ass-kicking soldier who can arm nukes to "biotic" expert who move things with thier minds to hackers. Just like the male characters. Not once does any female submit without choice, nor are any of them made to appear as "Barbie streetwalkers."
Kevin McCullough is a liar.
And because of the digital chip age in which we live - "Mass Effect" can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.
LIE NUMBER 9. There is only ONE possible sex scene*. The character you can have sex with is named Liara, and she's the ONLY ONE. There is no sodomy (apparently that word in it's many forms, is weighing heavily on Kevin McCullough's lying little mind, the big perv) in any form, and you cannot be sexual with any other character in the game at any time, ever. It happens once, for about two minutes, right before you go into the segment where you battle the big bad guy at the end.
Again, Kevin McCullough is a liar.
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.
LIE NUMBER 10. It's not even a multiplayer game. There is no online connection to other players. Kevin McCullough is a liar. Kevin McCullough also harbors rape fantasies and thinks way too much about sodomy and young children. It appears, and I'm not making any claims, just observations from his article, but it appears that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
I'm not saying Kevin McCullough actually rapes and sodomizes children online, I'm saying that his fevered descriptions (of this game that doesn't exist) demonstrate that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that?
*UPDATE* - Via Rann's comments, here's Kevin McCullough's "rebuttal" diatribe. he's proud of having lied and refuses "to move." So he's arrogant, intractable and a liar.
* Also, I need to make a correction; It turns out you can sleep with Ashley (or Kaidan if you are a woman) if you play your cards right. Both times I played I didn't get anywhere with Ash and I sacrificed Kaidan, so I assumed that the whole "flirty Ashley" thing was a red herring and you could only sleep with Liara. Turns out I'm just not smooth with the human ladies (or guys for that matter), I am more of the James T. Kirk type. I must be one of those "gamer nerds" who obsesses over alien sex so much that I subconsciously sabotaged any change of normal, hetero, human-to-human sex, which I assume Kevin McCullough would have tolerated a little more than the depraved, alien-on-woman sex he
By the way, don't you love how the sum total of his research into this game was one or two Youtube clips? Makes you really want to trust him on the matters of the world, doesn't it? Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that? I think I might have.
Posted by JimK at 02:41 PM on January 14, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Gaming, Xbox 360, The Fourth Estate, The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: gaming xbox 360 mass effect
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Reporting in, plus Altair is a dick
Oww. My left elbow is wrecked. It’s definitely a UCL injury. It hurts to type. Or scratch myself. Or move my arm while walking. Or, quite frankly, to breathe. I have to ice it three or four times a day and take anti-inflammatories constantly. I suspect I need a hardcore brace, as everything a human does seems to aggravate it, and the more you bug it, the less it heals. This is usually a baseball player’s injury, although it seems to also be common to skiers, small game hunters who wring the necks of their kills and idiots that try to swim too hard before they are physically ready.
I might be the only person in that last group.
At least I know I didn’t tear it through, or one of the parts of it anyway. If I did, my thumb would be flopping and I would likely be crying. All the time. The good news, if there is any, is there’s enough stuff at the gym to keep me exercising. That’s also bad, I suppose, as I don’t have an excuse for staying home and doing nothing. :)
Surprisingly, the things that bugs it the least? Playing Xbox. I’ve been killin ther doodz in Assassin’s Creed all week. Love. That. Game. If you like Splinter Cell (any) and/or Crackdown, you will like it. If you didn’t, stay away, you will hate it.
You play mainly as Altair, an assassin who is a bit of a jerk and needs to redeem himself in the eyes of the Assassin’s Bureau. He’s rude, he’s constantly shoving people, and you can actually get an achievement for hurling the old beggar women to the ground if you do it often enough. Kind of a dick. Great game, though. Long and huge, and for me worth the retail price. Not many games are these days. I’m planning to finish the main storyline then go back and do most side things later...because Mass Effect is out and I don’t know how long I can stay away from that. :)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Orange Box
Quick question - Anyone else out there playing Half-Life 2 or any Valve games on the 360 and getting motion sick from it? I’m really really not happy about this...I’ve never been motion sick from a game in my life, but every Orange Box game makes me sick to the point of wanting to throw up within 15-20 minutes. It never happened on the PC version. I guess the field of vision is limited from 90 degrees to 70 for the 360...that coupled with the head bob is setting it off for a lot of people.
Speaking of games, what else is out there for the 360 that is GRAW2/Rainbow Six like? I cannot get enough of the squad-based tactical stuff in single player. And don’t say Army of Two. Already plan to rent it and fully expect to hate it. Also don’t say Clive Barker’s Jericho. I don’t know why but the demo made me hate it. It’s trying too hard to be all things to all gamers, and ends up being needlessly complicated and silly.
What I really want is a single-player mode of GRAW2 that is about four times longer…
Monday, October 01, 2007
Atari - 30 years ago this month
I. Feel. Old. Cool pic of the prototype for the original 2600 at that link though.
Man. 30 years of advances in gaming technology, from poking a square with a dot to jumping around looking for a burning flower to 3D hidden doors, power-ups and shooting your friends online to the Covenant Elite. Gaming has advanced a lot, but at the core, it’s still just pokin’ at squares with other squares and pretending you’re the hero, villain or Italian plumber on the screen. :)
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Playing a little Overlord
Anyone else playing this? I’m having enough fun to keep playing, but man...there’s some obvious stuff wrong with this game. Like the controls. I’m standing in front of three pits to spawn the little minions. You have to face one, pull the left trigger to highlight it and then press another button - either B to spawn or right trigger to make them jump back in - but it’s almost impossible to select the one you want when you want it. Oh, you can select either the first or last of a line of three, but it will take you an hour to select the middle one. OK, not an hour, but still. Sloppy targeting is everywhere, in the combat, in the sweeping of minions...it’s frustrating.
Also, there’s no map. NO MAP! This is essentially a third-person RTS with a large geographic area that you have to walk. Now, I get not showing me the parts I haven’t traveled yet, but why the frigging frig can’t I have a map of, you know, where I have already been? Very frustrating. You end up doing some aimless wandering around, looking for some sign of where to go next or what to do. It’s the single most obviousl and glaring flaw in the game, and I don’t know what the hell Codemasters was thinking when they decided that there wouldn’t be a map.
But...the writing is cute and fun, and the segments are fun and interesting. Once you know where you are supposed to be going and what you’re supposed to be doing, the game essentially breaks up into dozens of little mini-adventures, each of which is fun, except for that awkward control/aiming problem.
In summary - worth renting, but maybe too annoying to buy it. Oh, and lastly, I am playing it as completely and totally evil. You get to choose. I slaughter villagers every chance I get, steal their food and money, the whole bit. If you’re gonna play a game like this, why wouldn’t you go all-out evil?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Simply amazing Halo 3 casemod
Click it, it gets a lot bigger. I’m not a Halo nut, but that right there is pretty sweet. Apparently he’s gonna eBay that bad boy. I’d preserve it under an alarm-rigged lexan shield if I built it. And I’d kill anyone that tried to touch it. :)
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Jack Thompson is a never-ending source of amusement
No surprise, really, that Halo 3 is in the media-hungry attorney’s crosshairs. Thompson seems to prefer rattling his saber when high-profile game releases are involved. In his latest attention grab Thompson has released the text of what appears to be a court filing in the 11th Circuit, the same jurisdiction in which he failed embarrassingly during last year’s Bully case.
Once again, Thompson is basing his claim on a Florida statute which defines public nuisances as that which:…tend[s] to annoy the community, injure the health of the citizens in general, or corrupt the public morals
Good luck with that, Jack. Every time games get in front of a court, gamers and game companies win. Regardless of Ebert or anyone else’s opinion, games are as artistically expressive as any other form of entertainment and therefore protected speech. Every time a politician or an activist tries to fight that notion, they lose. So, you know...good luck with your fight against Halo 3 and GTA 4 and all, but you’re an idiot.
Also, die in a fire.