All Sex Saturday - “It’s the sex version of air guitar”

This post is actually fulfilling two roles - it’s a continuation of my long running series questioning just what the fuck is wrong with the Japanese people (mainly the guys), and it continues the theme I’ve decided for this Saturday...sex.

Ladies and gentlemen...Japanese air sex.  It might not be safe for work, although it’s all fully clothed miming.

The best part is the Japanese woman at the end.  “They haven’t a clue as to what women want...it’s really disgusting but I could see that they were really serious.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough...there’s another YouTube video that suggests they actually hold Air Sex World Championships.  Hard to see what is happening though, so feel free to give it a pass.  In fact, ignore this entire post if you want.  It’s pretty much equal parts funny and sad.  Poor Japanese men.  What strange and bizarre way will they think of to release all that sexual repression next?

Posted by JimK at 06:13 PM on April 14, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Air Sex Japan culture humor

A tale of two hucksters

Let me see if I can clarify this.  Je$$e Jack$son and Al $harpton both want Don Imus - a washed-up no-talent shock jock - fired over the term “nappy headed hos.” These same two self-appointed “black leaders” don’t have a god-damned thing to say about Crystal Gail Magnum, the lying whore who tried to destroy three young men by accusing them of rape - which we now know to be a completely and totally false accusation - and why?

Because Crystal Gail Magnum is black, and therefore Al and Jesse can’t get on TV or make any money off telling the world that they were wrong and she’s a whore and a liar who had the DNA of five different men - none of whom were Duke lacrosse players - in or on her body that night.

Let me rephrase one part of that.  Jesse ”Hymietown” Jackson and Al ”Tawana Brawley” Sharpton are calling for Imus’ head and at the same time not speaking out at all about the egregious violation of the law, the civil right of the (white) Duke lacrosse players and the enormous cost of the investigation all predicated on the lies told by a (black) stripper who was covered in and filled with strange men’s semen, none of them any of the defendants.

I don’t know how black people can stand those two clowns.  Every time I see them it seems like they’re setting race relations back 50 years.  To top it all off, I don’t know what’s worse: that these two are continually inserting themselves into situations where they don’t belong, that black people go along with it or that the media keeps paying attention to them when they pose and preen for the cameras.

Posted by JimK at 07:54 PM on April 11, 2007
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Categories: News,  Crime and Criminals,  The Fourth Estate,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Don Imus Al Sharpton Jesse Jackson Crystal+Gail+Magnum Duke lacrosse

Peanut Butter - the building block of life

If you happen to favor the Creationist point of view...well, better not.  Just know that these are your brothers:

The sheer amount of scientific ignorance in that one short clip makes me want to stick my head in the oven because we’ve had it as a species.  I can’t believe I just saw that.

*UPDATE* How could I have forgotten to top this post off with the undeniable proof that peanut butter and God are as one?

Posted by JimK at 05:12 PM on March 30, 2007
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Categories: Technobabble (Technology),  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: creationism evolution religion science

Everyone should drive Town Cars to save the earth *UPDATED*

Heh.  Forgot the link

Afterward, he accepted his customary standing ovation, slipped out a back door and into the back of a Lincoln Town Car, looking almost presidential.

So conscious of his carbon footprint, Gore later bought non-existent carbon offsets from himself to make up for the huge engine and wasteful mileage of such an ostentatious mode of transport.

You can’t possibly expect him to sit in something with an efficient 4-cylinder engine, a diesel running some form of renewable fuel or, saints forbid, a hybrid can you?

Posted by JimK at 04:06 PM on March 21, 2007
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Categories: News,  Politics,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Al Gore carbon offsets global warming

I paid 3000 bucks for this, and my ticket did not say “morgue class”

Hat tip to Mazz, who sent me this story:

A BRITISH Airways passenger travelling first class has described how he woke up on a long-haul flight to find that cabin crew had placed a corpse in his row.

The body of a woman in her seventies, who died after the plane left Delhi for Heathrow, was carried by cabin staff from economy to first class, where there was more space. Her body was propped up in a seat, using pillows.

The woman’s daughter accompanied the corpse, and spent the rest of the journey wailing in grief.

Paul Trinder, who awoke to see the body at the end of his row, last week described the journey as “deeply disturbing”, and complained that the airline dismissed his concerns by telling him to “get over it”.

“It was a complete mess — they seemed to have no proper plans in place to deal with the situation,” said Trinder, 54, a businessman from Brackley, Northamptonshire.

OK, creepy?  Check.  disturbing?  Check.  But…

Posted by JimK at 10:59 PM on March 20, 2007
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Categories: News,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: air travel Paul Trinder

John McCain isn’t fit to lead a parade

Can you imagine, in 2007, watching a human being stand in front of you and have this exchange?

Reporter: “Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?”

Mr. McCain: “Well I think it’s a combination. The guy I really respect on this is Dr. Coburn. He believes – and I was just reading the thing he wrote– that you should do what you can to encourage abstinence where there is going to be sexual activity. Where that doesn’t succeed, than he thinks that we should employ contraceptives as well. But I agree with him that the first priority is on abstinence. I look to people like Dr. Coburn. I’m not very wise on it.”

(Mr. McCain turns to take a question on Iraq, but a moment later looks back to the reporter who asked him about AIDS.)

Mr. McCain: “I haven’t thought about it. Before I give you an answer, let me think about. Let me think about it a little bit because I never got a question about it before. I don’t know if I would use taxpayers’ money for it.”

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.”

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

Q: “But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: ‘No, we’re not going to distribute them,’ knowing that?”

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) “Get me Coburn’s thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn’s paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I’ve never gotten into these issues before.”

I love how he needs an assistant to tell him what he used to think, and also how he asked if we were “on the Straight talk Express.” Apparently not, Senator McCain.  We are in fact on the Hemming and Hawing Express.  We are on the “Afraid to piss off the Evangelicals” Express.  We are on the Wishy-Washy Politician Express.  About the last god-damned thing we are on is the Straight Talk Express.

Coward.

Let’s say for the sake of argument that yo are an evangelical Christian with beliefs so deep, so strict that you cannot condone the use of condoms for any reason by anyone, ever.  Let’s take that as fact.  The question posed to John McCain at the end of this exchange was “Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?” To which the man who wants to lead this country replied “You’ve stumped me.”

I don’t care what your religious beliefs are, anyone who doesn’t know that condoms reduce - to *ANY* degree - the spread of HIV is either lying to my face or not smart enough to lead the country.  Since I believe John McCain knows damn well that condoms help stop - or at the very least slow - the spread of HIV, I conclude he is lying.  Why?  To court the far right that tanked him the last time he ran. 

Guess what, Senator?  The far right may be vocal, but the rest of the right side of the aisle is a lot bigger.  Be careful with whom you get into bed, Senator McCain.

My God I am sick of the same old names and faces...I totally understand why people are drawn to Barack Obama.  No, he hasn’t accomplished anything and yes, he speaks in vague generalities most of the time, but at least he’s new.

By the way, the answer to the original question, “Should U.S. taxpayer money go to places like Africa to fund contraception to prevent AIDS?” is as follows:

“If after consideration and study we find that we can help, that we have a surplus after caring for the American people first, and that the help would in fact be effective and not a wasted gesture, then yes, I would support such a program.”

Posted by JimK at 04:48 PM on March 18, 2007
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Categories: News,  Politics,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: John McCain Election 2008 Politics

Love your car, just don’t LOVE your car

I have sex with cars

MECHANIC Chris Donald loves his work - he has sex with CARS.

And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”

Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors.

He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years - plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI.

Chris said: “It’s all about imagination and creativity. There’s more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay.”

And he bragged: “I did have the exhausts custom made for one car because they were too small. I had them widened and rounded.

“The firm never asked why — but I loved the view while she was up on the ramp and they were working on her.

And then there was this:

I don’t know what to say about this.  I think it must be a put-on.  I like cars but I mean...really?  Sex with them instead of in or on them?  Of course, a 1965 GTO does give me a woody…

Posted by JimK at 08:33 PM on March 10, 2007
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Categories: Technobabble (Technology),  Things With Engines,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Chris Donald sex with cars

Up next, San Francisco bans walking with a limp and eating cheese.

Is there anything that San Francisco won’t try to ban?

Angered by what they see as a weak effort by supermarkets to cut down on the use of plastic bags, six local lawmakers want the city to prohibit grocers from giving out the ubiquitous sacks blamed for eating up fossil fuel, littering streets and choking wildlife.

“San Francisco is poised to be the first U.S. city to ratchet up its response against global warming,” said Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi, who crafted the measure scheduled to be heard by a legislative committee on Thursday. “By doing so, we will save millions of dollars for city coffers and for our refuse rate payers.”

It amazes me how people - the same people who complain about how restrictive the Bush administration is - live in and love that place. 

Posted by JimK at 06:40 PM on March 09, 2007
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Categories: News,  Politics,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: San Francisco

Najee Ali and Frenchie Davis try to extort money through white liberal guilt

Wanna learn how you can lose my support in an instant?

Without beating around the bush, civil rights activist Najee Ali, celebrities, community leaders and Chris Tian & Friends for Frenchie Davis, will confront “American Idol” this Tuesday claiming a double standard exists.

With the recent headlines regarding explicit photos of “Idol“‘s season six contestant Antonella Barba being brought to focus via news outlets and on talk programs nationwide, a celebrity rally on Tuesday will examine the issue of a double standard as it relates to the Fox-TV program’s treatment of Frenchie Davis. 

Tuesday’s planned rally/press conference is scheduled to be held at 11 am in front of the Kodak Theater in Hollywood where the “American Idol” program is broadcast from.

Four years ago Davis was dismissed from the show for purported racy photos. But those photos, which Davis told EUR in an exclusive interview, were never seen either by the “Idol” powers that be, nor the public. On top of that she maintains her photos were of her modeling lingerie. Barbas’ are of the hardcore porn type and have actually been published and seen by the public.

Why are so many “civil rights” leaders and “victims” such lying assholes?  I totally supported Frenchie as a victim until today.  If she had simply stuck to the truth and not allowed herself to be used by some self-appointed moral “leader” as a victim of racial discrimination, I’d still be supporting her.  As of now she can go fuck herself.  Like she did on the internet all those years ago.

Frenchie was naked and masturbating on a website called “Daddy’s Little Girls” (that URL is safe, it goes to The Smoking Gun archive article).  The photos were all over the internet at the time.  Everyone saw them.  She was bent over and splayed, gut and titties were everywhere.  I tried to find ‘em, because you know I was all about inflicting that on your eyes, dear readers, but it seems that everyone has struck the horror form their hard drives.  I remember seeing them all over the place though, and they were not “lingerie” photos.  Strike one.  Next: Anyone who falsely plays the race card should be punched in the face repeatedly by actual victims of racism then incarcerated with real racists from whatever skin color and/or ethnic/social group hates them the most.  Strike 2.  That’s it.  In my game it’s two strikes and you’re out.  Frenchie Davis can kiss my ass, I hope Antonella wins* just so Frenchie can sit at home and feel shitty about herself.  I can’t wait to find out how much money the race card will add to her civil suit.

This is like a low-rent Tawana Brawley/ Al Sharpton.  Only this time Najee Ali is the pimp and Frenchie Davis is the whore.

* I really really don’t.  That was hyperbole.  I really really don’t want that bridge & tunnel monument-desecrating whorebag to get anything short of a plane ride home

Posted by JimK at 03:52 PM on March 05, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment,  Celebridiots,  Television,  American Idol,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell Antonella Barba Frenchie Davis

Ann Coulter calls John Edwards a “faggot”

On what planet is this kind of bigoted hate speech acceptable?



Now, I realize she was referencing the Isiah Washington/T.R. Knight/Grey's Anatomy thing, but here's the problem. Isiah was flat-out wrong to say what he said. It wasn't funny. It was just Isaiah Washington being a bigot. Ann is - as usual - compounding the problem. On top of that, since when is Edwards even remotely closeted or gay or even bi-frigging-curious? The accusation makes no sense other than to be a bigoted slur. We call him the Breck Girl because his hair is fabulous and there was a video of him fiddling with it. It has nothing to do with his sexuality. So Coulter is both bigoted and stupid, it seems.

She is a hateful, horrible human being and I couldn't imagine ever respecting her for anything. Every time I see someone compliment her, I lose a little respect for that person. You can be critical without being a hate monger or a bigot, and when you actively celebrate her hateful bigotry, you may as well walk around doing it yourself.

She brings shame to the word "conservative." It shouldn't stand for hate and bigotry. The only thing we as conservatives need to hate is the size of our government and anyone who tries to kill us.
*UPDATE* Dan Riehl sort-of agrees. Also, Ed at Captain's Quarters:

First, criticizing Coulter's use of the word "faggot" is not a suppression of free speech; it is an exercise of free speech. We're not advocating her arrest for using the word. We're just saying it was stupid, unnecessary, and hateful. This is no different than Melissa McEwan calling Christians "Christofascist Godbags" and Amanda Marcotte's incendiary hate speech about Catholics. We howled about that when John Edwards hired them; why do we defend Coulter's appearance at CPAC?

That's the non-hypocrite approach. So of course the majority of people will reject it. :) Gay Patriot has a short roundup of conservative reactions. I'm happy to say they prove my above snark to be wrong. Condemnations all around. Some are condemning it on the purely practical terms of how much damage Ann does to a movement she allegedly supports, others on the use of the slur itself.

Posted by JimK at 08:24 PM on March 02, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment,  Celebridiots,  News,  Politics,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Ann Coulter John Edwards