Thursday, May 20, 2004
Yes, Virgina, there is a VRWC
The secrets can finally be told. We’ve been granted permission to tell you the truth
Nick Berg is on a secret tropical island, with his Helliburton pension, golfing with Jack Kennedy and sharing peanut butter and bacon sandwiches with Elvis. Yucking it up with Danny Pearl. There’s a greenish glass jar in the entertainment center, beside the big screen TV. Inside, a Roswell alien floats gently, gently, upside down. A pallid little creature bobbing in a lava lamp. Some sick bastard has slapped a decal on it; “Don’t Mess With Texas”.
“Don’t Mess With Texas”, Laura.
Oh, it gets worse.
AIDS was a custom-designed biological weapon aimed at reducing the gay population of America, only it backfired and good, God-fearing white folk were affected.
Global Warming is NOT junk science, and we’ve all known it since the January newsletter a few years back. Thing of it is, we’re doing it on purpose to weed out the weak and infirm.
We all eat babies.
We formed and funded Creed.
Worse, we also formed and funded and promoted Limp Bizkit and American Idol.
Secretly we all want to be Democrats so hippie girls that smell like patchouilli and fish will make sweet, sweet love to us in the back of a beat-up VW camper.
That feels good to get off my chest.