Bring the funny!

Via Ace of Spades and Tim Blair, I bring you the Sorry Everybody Photoshop project.  Their site seems to be unresponsive most of the time, but luckily Ace and Tim saved some choice images.  I have chosen my favorite, and prepared my own version and a blank for you to have at.

More

The original:

The blank:

Mine:

Less

Posted by JimK at 05:02 PM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Humor,  The Stupidity Of Man

E-voting…

The Internet, at least the left-leaning political corner, is abuzz with the Ohio e-voting machine that added just under four thousand votes for Bush.

First of all, I have asked this question a few times when it has come up, and the answer so far is “no.” The question is, has anyone bothered to look at errors as compared to traditional methods of voting?  Is the e-voting error rate significantly higher?  And the follow-up question is, has anyone looked around the country for errors that were in Kerry’s favor?  Again, no, for what I think are two easy to guess reasons.  One, it’s not a sexy story if the loser got a few extra votes here and there, and two, oh, that liberal media, who are licking their wounds after being named the real losers of 2004 and are looking for anything that can use against that bumbling hick who has embarrassed them yet again.

What we really need to is stop being assholes here and have a serious bi-partisan effort to force Diebold and everyone else out of the e-voting software business.  Even if they did nothing wrong, and that may be true or it may be false, the electorate does not trust them.  The government needs to open the e-voting process up and make it open-source so it can be checked by ANYONE with the time and skill to peruse source code.

Think about it this way: 15 years ago, CBS would have gotten away with airing fraudulent memos in an effort to sway a presidential election.  They didn’t get away with it because some guys, in their pajamas, fact-checked their asses into a scandal.

We need that same power to come into play here.  Geeks of all political persuasions will spend hundreds of thousands of man-hours checking every line of the voting code for free, making sure it is safe and secure and tamper-proof.  No one will be able to get anything over on anyone because everyone will have access to it.

That not only seems fair and financially prudent...it seems downright American to me.  Everyone gets a say.  But it can only work if everyone who voted speaks together and demands it.

Posted by JimK at 04:27 PM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Politics

Mystery plans

Jonah Goldberg asks the right question.

NOW THAT HE’S NOT USING IT…
Can John Kerry please tell us what his super-duper special terrific secret plan to fix Iraq was?

Good question.  Did he have one?  If so, shouldn’t he be eager to share it with the President?  Isn’t that the truly patriotic (and moral) thing to do?  I’d like to see someone follow up on this and find out of Kerry ever offers up this big mystery plan.  If it doesn’t materialize...well, yet another reason why I’m damn glad he lost.

Posted by JimK at 01:23 PM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: War,  Politics

Welcome to Liberal America

Poll question: What is more depressing . . 9/11/01 or 11/3/04?

11/3/04 is winning with 70% as of this writing.  One of the idiots actually said this:

9-11 was worse because it led to us Democrats losing last Tuesday.

Not because terrorists killed 3000 people and destroyed the economic symbol of NY.  Not because they tried to destroy the Pentagon and who knows what else.  It’s worse because Kerry lost.

Tell me why we shoud give a rat’s ass about these people again?  I’d love to write this off as DU nonsense, but I have seen people who are spewing this kind of hate who have been in my home and with whom I have shared secrets.  So explain to me, with that level of hate and vitriol, why should I care?  I do.  I just want to see someone come up with a reasonable explanation as to why I should.

Posted by JimK at 05:40 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Politics

Softcore

OK, I used her name once in this blog, ONCE, but a good percentage of my Google hits come from the phrase ‘Torrie Wilson.”

Mmm...and I do love me some Torrie Wilson.  My wife has granted me permission if I can just get Torrie away from the rich, famous and good-looking husband she has.

*cough*

Anyway, I figured why disappoint so many people?  If you came here looking for Torrie Wilson, then Torrie Wilson I shall give you. NOT SAFE FOR WORK.  Or jealous wives and girlfriends.  May also include Sable (Rena Mero).

Posted by JimK at 05:04 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Beautiful Women,  Entertainment

Kaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!

If ever you did not understand how Kirk felt when he threw his head back and screamed Kahn’s name...now you do.

Palestinian President Yasser Arafat has partially emerged from his coma in a French hospital, opening his eyes and communicating with his doctors, an Israeli newspaper Web site said Saturday citing Palestinian sources.

YNET, the Web site of the leading Israeli daily Yediot Ahronoth, quoted a senior Palestinian official who visited Arafat overnight as saying the president is also capable of moving in bed. Doctors believe a full diagnosis of Arafat’s condition will be ready within three days, YNET said.

One can only hope this is just smoke to try to keep the Palestinian terrorists in order until they figure out how to stop them from self-destructing and murdering the people they are pretending to care about.

Posted by JimK at 04:53 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Crime and Criminals,  The Middle East

Fallujah

There are reports that suggest the final, no-holds-barred assault on Fallujah has begun.  There are also rumors that say nothing is off limits this time.  If terrorists and insurgents hide in mosques, the mosques are targets.

It’s about time.

All I have to say is from what I have heard from people on the ground, our forces are itching to get this done.  They wanted it months ago.  They know it’s risky and some of them will not be coming hme, and they still want to finish the job and destroy the last major rebel stronghold in the country.

I know they won’t see this, but I wish them good luck and safe going.  If you pray, throw one their way.  If not, just think good thoughts.  Safety and success.  When this is over, they will need our morale support more than ever.  As a community, we have some plans to organize a few things.  More on that later.  For now, just stay hopeful that we will succeed with as few losses as possible.

Boys and girls in the dirt, keep your heads down, your powder dry and watch your buddy’s six.

Posted by JimK at 03:51 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: War,  U.S. Military,  The Middle East

Good advice

Treacher has a plan.

Try to catch up on your sleep this weekend

I think we all need it. Also, drink lots and lots of beer, wine, and distilled spirits to either celebrate, mourn, or, in my case, keep the subcutaneous bugs from waking up. AND STAY OFF THE INTERNET FOR AT LEAST 48 HOURS. THAT IS AN ORDER.

I won’t be able to keep my subcutaneous bugs from waking up, digging through my brain and activating the Rove^TM RepubControl® chip, but I do plan to chill the hell out this weekend as regards the Internet.

Rove^TM and RepubControl® are registered trademarks of Halliburton Inc.

Posted by JimK at 02:41 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Personal,  Technobabble (Technology)

Did the gay marriage ballot inititaives really make a difference?

From Andrew Sullivan’s site:

So lots of pundits, including you, have been attributing Bush’s success nationally to his having excited the base over the gay marriage issue. In particular, the strategy of using the ballot initiatives in 11 states, thereby dragging religious conservatives to the polls to vote against marriage and at the same time check the box next to Bush, is regarded as having been particularly effective.

That is, of course, fiction. Bush improved his share of the popular vote by 3.2% from 2000 to 2004 (47.9 in 2000, 51.1 in 2004). Now how did he do in the states which had anti-marriage ballot initiatives?

Arkansas +3.0%
Georgia +3.3%
Kentucky +3.1%
Michigan +1.8%
Mississippi +2.2%
Montana +0.7%
North Dakota +2.2%
Ohio +1.0%
Oklahoma +5.3%
Oregon +0.8%
Utah +4.2%

Only in two states (Utah and Oklahoma) did he gain a significantly higher vote share than he did nationwide. Maybe comparing to the national popular vote is misleading, so let’s compare each of those states to a neighboring, politically-similar state which did not have an anti-marriage initiative on the ballot:

Missouri +2.9 (AR +3.0)
Florida +3.4 (GA +3.3)
Tennessee +5.7 (KY +3.1)
Wisconsin +1.5 (MI +1.8)
Alabama +6.0 (MS +2.2)
Idaho +1.2 (MT +0.7)
South Dakota -0.4 (ND +2.2)
Pennsylvania +2.0 (OH +1.0)
Texas +1.8 (OK +5.3)
Washington +1.2 (OR +0.8)
Wyoming +1.2 (UT +4.2)

Again, not much. In only 3 cases (UT-WY, ND-SD, and OK-TX) did Bush improve a lot more in a state with an anti-marriage initiative than he did in the state with which it was paired. And, in the case of North Dakota, the hotly contested Senate race in South Dakota may have skewed things a bit; a better comparison might be Nebraska, where Bush was +3.0% better in 2004 than in 2000, a better improvement than what he got in North Dakota.
That leaves two states, Oklahoma and Utah, which had an anti-marriage initiative on the ballot and in which Bush’s vote share improved more both relative to the nation as a whole and relative to the neighboring state selected.
It is certainly possible that the fact that the Bush administration raised the issue to the level to which did led to increased turnout among religious conservatives nationwide, which then resulted in Bush’s overall improved vote share over his 2000 performance. However, one would also expect that this vote share improvement would have been particularly high in states in which the marriage issue was particularly relevant. On the contrary, there is no evidence that suggests that the strategy of putting the anti-marriage initiatives on the ballot in several states did anything to improve Bush’s performance in those states.

Before people spend a lot of time demonizing Bush voters, they might want to make sure they aren’t saying things that create the very situation they wish did not exist.  I don’t know if these numbers are accurate. What I do know is no one else does either, and they’re busy spewing hate and invective anyway.

Posted by JimK at 01:02 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Politics

Riptide RULED!

Donald Trump takes on the Kerry Squad. Someone’s fired here, and I know it wasn’t Chimpy McFlightsuit.  ;)

(TRUMP:) You. You’re quiet in all this. What do you have to say for yourself? Should you be fired for this loss?

MICHAEL MOORE: I don’t think so.

TRUMP: Why not? What did you contribute to the team?

MOORE: I wrote, directed, and starred in the highest-grossing documentary of all time, a film that bravely exposed the corruption and incompetence of the Bush Administration. I won the Palm d’Or at Cannes, I swept the balloting at the Golden Globes, I won the--

TRUMP: Can I ask you a question?

MOORE: Yes.

TRUMP: While you were winning all these awards, did you ever think to yourself, hey, maybe I should shave once in a while? Maybe, you know, tuck my shirt in? Maybe I could afford to drop a couple dozen pounds? Appearances count in business, Mike.

MOORE: I dress as what I am. I’m a proud son of blue collar parents, a lifetime resident of Flint, Michigan--

TRUMP: Mike, you live in one of my buildings. You pay me rent every month. I know, because you’re always trying to pay me in buffalo wings.

MOORE: But my primary residence--

TRUMP: Is a half mile away from my breathtaking Maya Largo estate in Palm Beach. We belong to the same country club. You practically live at the aromatherapy spa. So, you know, knock it off with the working class hero crap. And, quite frankly, working class doesn’t mean obese and unkempt.
(unsure; turns to Carolyn)
It doesn’t, does it?

CAROLYN: It’s not required, no.

TRUMP: That’s what I thought. Because I know I see a lot of working class women that are in pretty damn good shape. Not as beautiful as my beautiful fiance Maritza, of course. But still-- they put themselves together pretty nice. I’d take a run at them, I’ll tell you that.

BLACKIE LAWLESS: I have a question for Mike, Mr. Trump.

TRUMP: Shoot.

BLACKIE LAWLESS: ARE YOU—READY—TO—ROOOOCKKKK?!!?

Go.  Read.  It’s funny.

Hat tip: Drumwaster

Posted by JimK at 12:37 AM on November 06, 2004
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Categories: Humor,  Michael Moore(on),  Politics